I can’t stand when men do this to me in a group setting, but it happens all of the time. When they’re addressing the group—meaning everyone standing there—they make a point to look in the eyes of each person except for me while telling their story. It’s a power move that says, “You’re not in this conversation.”
When you try to make demands such as for a pay raise or better office conditions, does your boss tell you you’re being difficult? Or high-maintenance? There’s a good chance he doesn’t call male employees those words for making demands. He probably respects them for it. But he’s hoping the assumed female desire to be “agreeable” is stronger in you than your desire for your other wants.
She’s offered to promote you, spread good words about you, and give you hookups whenever she can if you promise to do the same for her. That’s not really an adult or ethical way to do things. We should decide to help someone on a case-by-case basis, and only promote them if they’re the right person for the job.
Alright well, none of those men have said or done anything to make me uncomfortable today. Only you have, by making this comment. Oh, also, it’s not my job to adjust what I wear so as not to distract men. Men aren’t animals—they’re humans who can control themselves. If they don’t, that’s their fault.
When her health was compromised, our writer knew she had to take a lesson in self-assertiveness. Here's what she learned.
See if you can guess what NOT to say in a workplace setting.