“It is crucial to learn to change the channel when you find yourself drowning in a sea of invalidating thoughts."
Maybe you have always struggled to make friends, or go on dates, because you think there is something fundamentally broken about you and people can sense it. You think there are the people who are healthy and normal, and those who are not. And you believe you fall into the second category. You think that healthy, normal people sniff out the abnormal ones right away.
Unfair, backwards, misogynistic—you say, “That’s just the way things are.” If you tell yourself that, then you’ll never make any attempts to change things. Things will stay just as they are, but not because they were unchangeable, but rather because you did nothing about it.
If you always expect the worst from people, your argument may be that that protects you—that if you don’t expect good things to happen then you can never be disappointed. You’re not wrong, but you’re also probably not happy. The trick in life isn’t to expect the worst, but rather to expect the best and […]
Cynics have their purpose for sure. Sometimes, when you’re flying too high or letting your fantasies get the best of you, it’s good to talk to your cynical friend so she can bring you back down to earth. But don’t forget that you probably act as your own cynic plenty enough. If negative thoughts have […]
Are those "things" holding you back really just you?