Even though I know every relationship and every person is different, and we never truly know what’s going on in a relationship unless we’re in it, maybe—just maybe—we can agree that when we get into three- and four-time divorced individuals, there might be some commonalities we can find in their personalities.
While there may not have been an actual affair, the way this friend treated you may have become a measuring stick for how a partner should treat you. It became painfully obvious that your spouse didn’t treat you anywhere near as well as this friend did.
You should be wary if he prefers to remain very private about his past marriages. Even if he’d never been married, it’s important that a man be an open book about his past if he’s asking you to marry him. Also, if he won’t talk to you about those relationships, it’s probably because he doesn’t even like to think about (aka learn from) them.
Men dive back in. They re-marry quickly. Perhaps this is because their wives are their caretakers. So, while divorced women are getting a nice break from being caretakers, men feel completely lost and helpless and need a new partner fast.
If a couple is together for a very, very long time, it’s only normal that each person will develop close friendships with people of the opposite sex. Sometimes—particularly when the marriage already feels weak—these friendships can feel like threats to the marriage, and can make the jealous individual act out, pull away, seek out her own emotional affair, and do other damaging things.
Everyone’s exciting at first. But you know what? All couples get settled and wind up in ruts if they don’t put in the work.
Several divorces usually mean several homes. And it’s not just like you hop from one house to another—there are the temporary places you stay while you’re separated. Those with lots of divorces behind them don’t feel as attached to their homes as those who’ve been in one marriage for a decade.
Oh and by the way, she’s going to enjoy the money that I helped him earn. Yup—I’m the one who counseled him through his emotional meltdowns before meetings and took care of the kids when he went on business trips. And now she will see those rewards.
So if you find out that a couple is divorcing long after their children have grown up, left for college, and perhaps even had kids of their own you might think, “Huh? Why? You’ve made it this far?”
It would be nice to think that going through a divorce wouldn’t affect the types of men who are attracted to you. It would be reasonable to believe that the only things that a man thinks about when considering asking you out are your personality, physical attraction (well it would be nice if they didn’t […]
This can be a great thing as long as you know what to expect.
