You’ve dated guys for a long time—long after you stopped liking them—because you didn’t want to hurt them. The idea of the pain they’d feel after you dumped them made you feel so guilty, that you just stuck around. Of course, the longer you wait to end it, the more it hurts them when you do.
Usually, in life, the very thing that will help us become stronger and more stable is also the thing that is the least fun and the least convenient…in the moment. Later, it pays off in dividends. But in the moment, it requires self-discipline, because it’s not fun.
When all of these pieces are there, but that spark isn’t, sometimes, we just try to force the spark. We lie to ourselves. We want to want what’s good for us. So, we stick around to see if our feelings can change—evolve.
What is it about women that just makes us a little more on it? I don’t know. What I do know is that, because there can be that delay for men, there are always those awkward years for most women when they’ll date dudes who just don’t yet have their lives together.
When you talk to someone online, you get to multi-task. They don’t know you’re doing it, but we’re all doing it. You’re online shopping while Facebook chatting with a friend while DMing a guy on an app. Then you can forget that in real life, you don’t get to multitask on a date. But our attention spans have shrunk.
If you often like to find a fixer-upper, it shows some control issues on your end. It’s not exactly healthy to want to boss around a romantic partner and try to make over a person’s entire life. Maybe, rather than putting a mirror in front of this man, it’s time to look in the mirror yourself. Why do you feel the need to take over everything?
Old souls say what they mean and mean what they say. They will say to you, “Look, I like you. I’m not seeing anyone else. And, I hope you like me enough to stop seeing other people. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay and we can go our separate ways.” Nobody of this generation is that direct anymore. In fact, most men my age would call that an ultimatum, while I just call that direct communication.
There is a lurking suspicion that part of the reason you’re so into this guy and that you are able to open up so much is there is that expiration date. There is freedom in knowing this won’t go on forever. Maybe what you’re feeling isn’t totally real. Not totally.
Then there are the men who don’t want a family anytime soon and presume that because of your age, you do. In other words, they run from you because they think you’ll rush them.
Let’s get this out of the way first because we’re all thinking it: you probably shouldn’t date your friend’s ex. If at all possible, avoid dating your friend’s ex. It’s sort of one of those unspoken life rules. But then again, there are exceptions to every rule. You may find yourself in the rare situation […]
So you snagged yourself an off-the-charts hottie. You’re cute. You’re secure in yourself. But you’re not oblivious to the fact that your boo could and should be on the cover of GQ magazine, or at least the cover of one of those sexy fireman calendars. He’s hot in that, “Should you even exist outside of […]
Admitting a man isn't for you doesn't mean you're too picky.