You often feel that you have to identities – there is the real you, and the you that you present to your mom. You feel that your life away from your mom is this secret life. That’s where you get to be the real you
You always find yourself fighting when you’re together. When you visit them, you feel like you’re counting down the minutes until they make one of their comments. When they do make such a comment, you feel they are picking a fight. You explode. You ask, “Why do you always do this!” and storm off. Or you say something intentionally hurtful, and escalate the conflict.
Before your partners sees your parents, you give him a long list of things he is not allowed to tell them. There are stories he is not allowed to share with them. There are updates about your life he is not allowed to tell them. The poor guy is walking on egg shells every time he hangs out with them.
The funny thing about building your life around your parent’s criteria for you is that they aren’t even there to experience your life. How much are they there? Maybe they visit a few times a year or month. Maybe they call you on the phone. They’re barely actually there!
Sometimes the influence a parent has, and the backbone a partner doesn't have, can cause mucho drama.
