When others ask us to compromise in some way for the relationship, it’s important to check in with ourselves and ask if this compromise is in direct conflict with our genuine selves, says Howard. If it is, then maybe that’s not the right match. “Sometimes the compromise is a sign this isn’t the relationship for you, like if the compromise takes away from being who you are. A lot of times people want to try to force a relationship when there are so many signs that this person isn’t really compatible with them. It shouldn’t be that difficult for your partner to accept you for who you are.”
There is a fine line between being good at compromise, and compromising who you are. With all of the emphasis on compromise being such a positive thing, it’s easy to accidentally cross that line. So, do you change too much for your partners? Here's how to tell.
Don’t ask yourself whose turn it is to do this or that (pick the restaurant, clean the car). Ask yourself who really needs the break today, or who has the energy level and mental capacity to do it. Don’t keep score. Be a team, and put the person most capable of the task at that moment up to it.
Compromise. That’s a word that can come with some stigma. When we say that security in a company has been compromised, or that someone has compromised their values, it is a very bad thing. But, in those cases, when people say compromised they really mean destroyed. In a true compromise, each person involved in a […]
How do you make sure to maintain your independence?