career and relationships

When a woman is set to get married, society assumes she'll ditch her maiden name for her partner's last name. However, this societal norm is a sacrifice that can impact the working woman's career.

August is Black Business Month, and an estimated 43 percent of small businesses are family-owned.

Ask yourself: “Are there areas of life that might have suffered due to this job? Are there any hobbies or interests that might have taken a back burner as a result? Any relationships that suffered that may need mending?”

When one person in a couple is unemployed, it’s hard enough on the relationship. The moods in the house can be low. The hope can feel barely there. One person is left trying to uplift the other and cheer their partner on. So what happens when both people are unemployed?

A lot of career competition in a relationship stems from the fear of what others think. “People will see me as riding his coattails if he makes it and I don’t.” Or “People will wonder what someone as successful as that is doing with a nobody like me.” Terrible thoughts like those. Banish those thoughts. Remember that even if you were incredibly successful, there would still be haters and gossips. You need to learn to block them out, no matter where you’re at in your career. All that matters is how you and your partner feel about each other.

Your man may decide that it’s his friend group that is holding him back. Maybe he has some friends who are settled in their careers—they make decent money at jobs they don’t love but don’t hate, and are just enjoying a calm, simple life. But your man may decide he needs only and exclusively super-ambitious people around him, and start making some friendship cuts.

Ironically, a successful woman <em>can </em>provide for her kids in many ways—if that’s what her partner was looking for. A successful mom can pay for childcare, and for things like ballet lessons and that expensive prep school. But, to the chauvinistic man, that’s not what it’s about—he wants his partner in the trenches with the diapers.

When something great happens to you and you tell your partner about it, you’re surprised to find that he belittles the accomplishment. You may tell him that a certain publication is writing about you and he’ll say something like, “That one’s just online, right?” or “That’s only published in our town, right, nowhere else?” Why does he hone in on the negative?

Don’t date a man in your industry who is going through a divorce. Everyone else in the industry (and office) knew his wife. They may have liked his wife. You just become a villain in this situation.

On double dates, the other couples take an interest in a project you are working on. They want to pitch ideas to you. They think it is fascinating. Even though you told your partner it would not be all work talk tonight, you cannot resist the attention. This double date just became a brainstorming session for your work.

My partner works freelance, so he has to work when we travel. Though my parents have a big house with free Wi-Fi, my partner leaves and works at a coffee shop. The last thing he needs is people who judge his career looking over his shoulder while he works, or those same people listening in on his work calls.

When it comes to relationships, don’t you want someone to love you for who you are, with or without your career? Life is long and full of changes. Wouldn’t it feel good to know that the traits someone loved about you are permanent, unchanging, and cannot be touched by outside factors like money and success? That’s what it means to have unconditional love. But you can’t find that love until you learn what those qualities are in you that are permanent and unwavering.