black divorce
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There is life after divorce, and it doesn’t have to be – nor should it be – something pushed under the rug and forgotten. Not only can one heal from the most painful divorce; one can come out stronger. Here is Aria Craig’s expert advice on how to do that.
Even though I know every relationship and every person is different, and we never truly know what’s going on in a relationship unless we’re in it, maybe—just maybe—we can agree that when we get into three- and four-time divorced individuals, there might be some commonalities we can find in their personalities.
Unfortunately, sometimes my mom still talks about the past and about how things would’ve been different if she had only done this small thing, or if this one event had not happened. It makes me sad that she dwells on the past like that. In fact, I believe her divorce was an opportunity for her to grow tremendously. I worry about her thinking that it was just a terrible failure, rather than a tremendous lesson and even…blessing.
While there may not have been an actual affair, the way this friend treated you may have become a measuring stick for how a partner should treat you. It became painfully obvious that your spouse didn’t treat you anywhere near as well as this friend did.
They’ve started to list statistics, attempting to normalize divorce for you. They want you to know that many, many people divorce and go onto live happy lives. They want you to know it doesn’t leave some dark mark on your reputation, the way it did fifty years ago for a woman.
You should be wary if he prefers to remain very private about his past marriages. Even if he’d never been married, it’s important that a man be an open book about his past if he’s asking you to marry him. Also, if he won’t talk to you about those relationships, it’s probably because he doesn’t even like to think about (aka learn from) them.
You made your child a sweater while your ex bought her an ipad. Naturally, you worry that your gift doesn’t hold up. You even have to talk to the ex about having some sort of spending limit on gifts, so the kids don’t feel like mom is just cheap
If a couple is together for a very, very long time, it’s only normal that each person will develop close friendships with people of the opposite sex. Sometimes—particularly when the marriage already feels weak—these friendships can feel like threats to the marriage, and can make the jealous individual act out, pull away, seek out her own emotional affair, and do other damaging things.