I will say that there is one job that is particularly trying on a relationship, and even more so when it’s the man in the relationship who has it. And that’s the job of chef. That is one high-octane job that has a way of really getting to a man’s head.
So you haven’t voiced your needs. You’ve let him miss your office party, your big presentation, lunch with your parents while they were in town, and your friend’s birthday party. Because he’s under water. Maybe he’s got stressful stuff happening in his family or at his work. Okay well…do you abandon him when your life gets stressful? Probably not. You don’t just get to take a break from being a partner.
When you are with friends, you’re texting your boyfriend. You’re probably fighting. Even if you aren’t fighting, he gets angry if you don’t text back promptly so there you are, texting with him throughout lunch with your friends.
If you don’t think you are worthy of being adored, then you are only comfortable in relationships where getting that affection feels really difficult. Once you work on your self-esteem issues, you won’t want to bother with a relationship where it feels very hard to get the adoration and affection you deserve.
When you’re in the car together, he’s on a Bluetooth call constantly for work, or emailing on his phone if someone else is driving. You don’t get to point out things you see out the window—he won’t look up from his phone.
His story is so sad it’s almost hard to believe. It’s filled with mean, heartless bosses who allegedly fired him for “no reason” and roommates who apparently kicked him out “out of nowhere.” It kind of has you wondering—wasn’t there some reason all these bosses fired him or some reason roommates wanted him gone?
Maybe you aren’t happy with yourself. Maybe you aren’t working towards your goals in the way you want to. It could be because you’re scared or you aren’t confident in yourself. So, naturally, you’d date men who also aren’t progressing towards their goals.
When a man has a lot to say about a topic you’ve brought up, at first it can feel like oh nice he cares about he thing I care about. But you may find he just talks over you, takes over the conversation, and turns this into a lecture on his thoughts on the topic. It’s not a dialogue.
He used to jump at every opportunity to help you. Whether you needed help moving or someone to bring you soup when you were sick, he was the first to offer. Now he has excuses not to help, and they are blatantly bad excuses.
When the beta male wants to get laid, he’ll complain that you two never have sex. And while it’s good that you initiate sex sometimes, he expects you to all of the time. If you don’t, he just whines and throws a tantrum about it.
It seems like everything else in your life has to take a hit in order for your relationship to survive. You’re always forced to put the relationship before other things that are, honestly, pretty important. It seems like your relationship, and the other areas of your life, can’t both survive—it’s one or the other.
If you date a lot, survive several relationships, and truly take the time to reflect on your lessons from all of that, you’ll learn a few things to be true about what you need in a partner. One of those is that he believes in you. No matter how confident you are, no matter how […]