Have you been on your fair share of dates, but have yet to find “the one”? Are you left wondering why you are alone when even some of your most dramatic or difficult friends have found their match? It might be time to take a look at your track record, and re-evaluate what you find important in a partner, how you approach relationships, or what you value in a relationship. Take a look at these 7 “categories” you might fall into – maybe the info will lead you to seek out ways to change your game.
1. You’re self-sabotaging
Do you go on dates and get set up with guys, only to find yourself alone at the end of the day? Do your friends all have boyfriends or husbands and are constantly telling you to find your match too? It could be possible that all of the outside pressures are subconsciously propelling you to reject their comments and prove that you don’t need a man to be happy. Of course no woman should feel like she’ll need a man, but it is 100% natural and fulfilling to have a plus one you’ll love forever. While your friends were off getting married and settling down, you might have been concentrating on your education, career, or fun single life! At this point it is possible that you have your own routine down pat, and don’t really want a man to come in and ruffle your feathers. Take a look at what you have done to set time out of your life for a man, and see if it is really a commitment you are willing to make. If not, stay single and happy and nicely ask your friends to quit pitying you!
2. You’re a surface dater
Does your dating life resemble a soap opera? If you have a new boyfriend every week, don’t be surprised if men see you as easy prey. You could be portraying the fact that you are a commitment-phobe and therefore men see you as the perfect one-night-stand. If this is not how you’d hope you would come across, try taking a break from falling head over heels in love every time you meet a guy. Try to take it slow and really connect with a man on deeper levels such as family, interests, childhood, careers, friends, travel etc. Dating a new guy every month is fun when you’re in high school, but newsflash, you’ll probably burn yourself out eventually, so why not take the plunge and look for a quality guy instead of a focusing on quantity!
3. You lose yourself
If you fall off the face of the earth when you have a boyfriend, you may want to reevaluate your time management and make it known to your man, and your friends, that they are both priorities in your life. It’s typically normal to go through this love hibernation in the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship (1-3 months) but after that there are no excuses for bailing on your friends. It’s healthy to have a dose of female companionship, as well as a male counterpart. Bringing your friends around your guy can also give you insight about their feelings on him, and give you a 3rd party perspective.
4. You’re a bad boys magnet
If you are attracted to the “bad boy” type, your circle of friends will eventually start to distance themselves to spare their lives of your drama! Maybe getting in trouble or being a little rough around the edges is fun for a little while, but soon your friends might start to get tired of your man’s antics and stop inviting you two to hang out. Unfortunately, if you stand by him while he constantly gets in trouble, or throws temper tantrums then his reputation will start to rub off on you! If you stand by him through all his lows, you’d be wrong to think people won’t start thinking that way about you too. You might think you are being a saint and that you’ll be the one to change him, but sometimes a bad boy is just another name for a douche bag.
5. Looking for forever love
One way that shows that a girl is really looking to build a strong foundation with a guy is by becoming friends first. There are instances when boy and girl meet eye to eye in a crowded bar and fall in love right then and there, but for most people it’s not that simple. If you find yourself befriending guys before you date them, you are airing on the conscious side by learning about your potential match, without any dating games attached. By becoming friends first, you can establish a bond with no pressure or expectations. If this is typically your game, then you definitely have lasting love on the brain and heck, you’re being smart about it!
6. You like to lead
If you are notoriously known for dating younger men, then you might have a “mommy” or “queen ME” complex going on. Don’t take this the wrong way, because being a strong and confident woman is definitely important in any relationship. However, if you are taking care of your guy more than he is of you, or making dinner plans more than he is, then you might be attracted to younger, or less confident men. If this is a pattern in your life, take a step back and be confident that you can, and want to be the ruler in the relationship forever. Most likely if you find a man who is comfortable with you telling him what to wear, where to eat and what to watch on TV, you better not plan to conduct a deep political debate with him over lunch. If you are ok with leading the way, then by all means you blaze that trail. But don’t get frustrated if 10 years down the road you’re still picking out his tie!
7. Snob-tastic
If you tend to break hearts and find yourself unsatisfied in your past relationships, you quite possibly might be looking for the wrong qualities in your partner. Yes, we all know that physical attraction does matter and first impressions rely on that, but there is much, much more about a man than his over-sized ears or “5 head.” We all hate superficial guys that judge their books by their covers and only date girls that look a certain way, so why are we repeating that terrible cycle? If you have a record of dumping guys solely because of a physical feature, then you might be uglier, on the inside, than you think. Looks fade but personality is forever. Another issue for you might be money. Just like too much emphasis on physical appearance, relying too much on money for happiness is the fastest way to get disappointed. Don’t fall into the gold digger trap and find yourself with a jerk of a boyfriend, with a big bank account. It could be time to reevaluate what you look for in a man, and what truly matters.
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