How Your Partner Reacts To These Situations Tells You A Lot About Him
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There are just some instances in life that really show you who somebody is. Some circumstances and events push a person’s patience, generosity and self-awareness to the limits and when those events occur, some individuals pass the test and some…just can’t. Most people can behave mostly good under most circumstances. That’s why so many couples don’t realize they don’t get along until four or five months into a relationship—the beginning of a relationship isn’t an accurate representation of life. The beginning of a relationship rarely presents those difficult circumstances that show you who somebody is because those circumstances don’t really come up during romantic dinners or couples massages. But the way your partner reacts to these instances shows you who he really is.
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When you feel a little jealous
Everybody gets a little jealous sometimes. Maybe you don’t lose it on your partner, go through his phone or accuse him of things. But perhaps you let it slip that you feel a little insecure around his one female friend because she’s so pretty and so funny. Does your partner become angry at you? Does he tell you you’re being dumb? Or does he lovingly hug you and tell you you’re the only person for him? Hint: it should be the latter! When you’re feeling weak and jealous, he needs to be a calm pillar of strength.
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When you want to quit your goals
We all have those days when we just want to quit everything and crawl into a hole. A great partner will give you tough love on those days. He’ll tell you that you’re being a big baby and you’re being completely blind to all the progress you’ve made. He’ll be the fire you need under your butt. He won’t stand for that nonsense.
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When you’re blue, but he has plans
You can’t help it; sometimes something bad happens to you, just on the same night your partner had plans. A good partner cancels his plans—even if he had really been looking forward to them—to stay home and cheer you up. He can’t do this all of the time, of course, but when he can, he does.
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When you pass a homeless person
How does your partner respond when you pass a homeless person? There are a lot of right ways and only a handful of really wrong ways. If he has nothing to give them, he should at least acknowledge them and say, “I’m sorry I don’t have anything on me.” If he has leftovers on him from dinner or change, hopefully, he gives those to the person. But you don’t want to be with someone who puts his nose up in the air, looks disgusted, and entirely ignores homeless individuals. That’s inexcusable behavior.
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When you can’t have sex for weeks
Sometimes, for scheduling or health reasons, you cannot have sex for a long time. While this is physically trying on a man, a good man won’t become irritated with you. And he certainly won’t drop hints about leaving you, or wishing he was with somebody else. He’ll grin and bear the drought, and handle things—eh em—on his own with a laptop.
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When your family is rude to him
It’s a very tricky situation when your family is rude to your partner. Under normal circumstances, he would stand up to someone who was rude to him. But this is your family and saying what he wants to say could strain the relationship. A good partner understands that maintaining a peaceful relationship with your family is more important than speaking up for himself—sometimes. He’ll respond to your family with respect, even if they didn’t speak to him with respect. Essentially, he’ll be the bigger person.
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When another woman hits on him
Look, some guys aren’t comfortable telling a woman to back off. They just feel strange about being that aggressive with a woman. But good men will hug you, kiss you, or do something to show the other woman they’re taken. Good men don’t entertain the flirtation and make no indication that they’re taken.
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When he loses his job
When men lose their jobs they can feel like they’ve lost their identity. You need to be with someone who is wise enough to understand that his job is not who he is. You cannot be with someone who becomes irritated with everyone around him when he loses his job, ceases to be grateful for you, and stops taking enjoyment in his personal relationships, all because he doesn’t have a job. You can’t spend your life with someone who reacts to ups and downs like that.
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When you apologize
When you apologize, does your partner accept it? A mature and generous partner accepts your apology. In fact, he praises you for being mature enough, yourself, to admit your mistakes. A bad partner takes advantage of the vulnerable moment in which you are already saying you were wrong, to poke at you and criticize you more.
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When you run into an ex
Hey, you have exes. You were with other people before you met your partner. You cannot undo your past. A good partner understands that, and he understands that you didn’t place your ex boyfriend in that bar. Even though running into an ex can stir up some feelings, a stable partner brushes it off. He doesn’t get in a bad mood for the rest of the night, over an incident nobody could have controlled.
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When you give him constructive criticism
Sometimes you need to give your partner a note. You need to tell him that he doesn’t listen very well or he can be a bit narrow-minded about certain things. Immature and selfish men become angry when you give them notes. Good partners are grateful for the note and thank you for being brave enough to say something.
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When the server/taxi driver/concierge messes up
People in the service or hospitality industry mess up! Everybody messes up sometimes. You don’t want to be with somebody who takes a condescending tone with a server for bringing the wrong item, or who threatens to have a cab driver fired for going the wrong way. You want to be with someone who is patient and understanding in these times.
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When you’re feeling cynical
From time to time, you get a little cynical. You get into a spiral of negative thoughts, talking about all the awful people and things in your life. You just feel like everything is sh*tty. A great partner points it out when you’re in this place, and reminds you that you, as a couple, are positive people. He turns that negativity train around.
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When you break something/make a mistake
At the end of the day, it’s just a plate, or a microwave, or a shower curtain rod. Whatever you broke is probably replaceable. Even if it isn’t, it’s broken now and there’s nothing you can do about it. You didn’t do it on purpose. A good partner recognizes all of that and forgives you, rather than calls you names and yells.
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When everything’s been about him
Sometimes, as a couple, you go through times when everything seems to be about just one person. This happens naturally when one person is going through something stressful or has something good happen. It’s normal. But a great partner recognizes when everything has been about him lately—maybe because he opened a business or got laid off—and sets aside time that will be dedicated to focusing on you. A good partner is aware of these imbalances of attention and works to fix them.
