Why You Only Attracted “Funemployed” Men

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This strange thing keeps happening to you. You meet guys who are so charming, so charismatic, so witty, so sociable, and so confident…They truly seem like catches! But, after a date or two, you find out they’re between jobs. They’re “funemployed.” They’re “figuring things out.” They’re “Helping their mom out by living at home with her for now.” You get it: these men do not have jobs. While each one has had some excuse, the reality is that these are the only men you attract, so you can’t deny there is some pattern happening. You don’t judge, but you wouldn’t mind attracting just a few employed men. Is that too much to ask? Well, no, but simply asking for it may not be enough. You could be putting out a vibe or displaying some behavior that tells these men to talk to you. Here is why you keep attracting “funemployed” men.

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You’re funemployed

Water seeks its own level. If you’re unemployed, you might just scare of employed men. They don’t want you mooching off of them, and they’re mostly attracted to women who have their lives together and have some drive. That means, you’re just left with the funemployed pool. Maybe it’s time to find a job before finding a boyfriend, and the boyfriends who come your way will change.

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You’re hanging at the wrong places

Where do you hang out? I’m not saying you need to only hang out at swanky hotel bars. But, if you frequent places with $7 buckets of beer and $5 unlimited tacos that means you’re hanging out where people on serious budgets go. The likelihood of there being funemployed men here is just higher than the likelihood of them being at the Hilton.

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You don’t ask what they do (until it’s too late)

You don’t want to seem like you chase money or status, so you overcompensate by never asking what a man does. Plus, the old “So, what do you do?” question can be boring, and doesn’t tell you much about someone. But if you don’t ask it, you could wind up dating a guy for weeks who you don’t realize does nothing.

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You’re too easily charmed

You’re a sucker for wit. You swoon over a good joke. If someone is charming, charismatic and confident, you’re all about it. The problem is that often, funemployed guys develop their sense of humor and put up a confident front to compensate for the fact that they don’t have a job. Successful, employed men can afford to adapt a more strong-and-silent attitude. Let’s put it this way: often, the life of the party has something to hide.

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You’re a great listener

Funemployed men are typically in a pretty needy place. They feel insecure, and they could really use an ego stroke. They need someone to listen to their woes, and their reasons why life isn’t working out. You happen to be a really good listener, so these guys love you. Look: when a guy is unemployed, he sucks up all the attention in a relationship. You happen to be good at paying attention.

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You’re too sweet

You’re just too sweet to say no. You don’t want to come off as superficial or a gold digger, so you never turn down a guy just because of his employment status. But you’re not doing these guys favors by dating them. You’re just encouraging their lifestyle. If they can get a girlfriend when they don’t have a job, why should they get a job?

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Your confidence is low right now

Maybe you just got dumped, or didn’t get a promotion, or had to attend your ex’s wedding. If your confidence is low, you’ll attract other people with low confidence. Funemployed men tend to fit in that category.

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You’re a free spirit

You’re a free spirit, always down to try new things, travel, attend meditation retreats, try some new holistic treatment and so on. You know who else tend to be free spirits? Unemployed men. It can be a part of the reason they’re unemployed. They were too free spirited to stay at a job. At yoga retreats you’ll find two types of people: successful people hoping that meditation will enhance their already great position in life, and people who are choosing to meditate over getting a job.

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You need to be needed

You desperately need to feel needed. Perhaps you’re not sure what your purpose is in life. But if there is a man who constantly needs you, that provides plenty of distraction from terrifying questions like, “What am I doing here? What’s my passion? How can I contribute to society?”

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You show your income level

If you make bank, good for you. But if you show it in the designer clothes you wear and purses you carry, perfectly done hair you flaunt, the expensive car you drive and filet dinner you always order, people will notice. Some people could be the funemployed men looking for a sugar mama.

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You’re into artsy guys

I’m not saying all artsy guys are funemployed, but I am going to point out the hard truth that it’s difficult to make money as an artist. If you only date artists, most of the men you date will be funemployed. Don’t kill the messenger.

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You’re into geniuses

You are a genius-chaser. You like men who are so intelligent that most people don’t know what they’re talking about. But it can be hard for geniuses to find their place in this world. They’re too smart for most jobs, so become bored at them and leave, or aren’t hired in the first place. Unless they’ve found some disease to work on curing or some app to build that will change the world, they can be a bit lost.

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You like being the powerful one

You like being the powerful one in your relationship. You like to call the shots. You like to be with people who will do whatever you say. Funemployed men are usually happy to do whatever you say because, well, you’re giving them a place to live and food to eat.

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You’re worried someone will leave you

You’re afraid of being alone, and terrified of rejection. A funemployed man probably won’t leave you because he knows not many other women will date him. But that’s a false type of loyalty. Your partner should be with you because he wants to be and not because he has to be.

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You lack self-love

Generally speaking, you attract what you believe you deserve. If you keep attracting men who won’t look for work, like to mooch and have no direction in life, it could be because that’s what you believe you’re worthy of. If you love yourself, you have little patience for people who aren’t working on improving themselves.