What Life Is Like After You Cheat
Bigstockphoto.com/Unhappy Young Man Having Argument With Woman At Home
If you cheat on your partner, your relationship is forever changed—whether or not you tell your partner. If you don’t tell your partner, you’ll experience an internal turmoil that will affect the way you behave around your partner, and possibly even destroy your health. That amount of guilt is not good for your blood pressure, tension in your muscles and more. If you do tell your partner, then you have to face the reality that he may leave you. You may also have to face the reality that he may stay, and you are looking at years of repairing the tremendous damage you have done. Life, after you’ve cheated, is never quite the same. And being a cheater affects more than just your romantic relationship. It has a butterfly effect, touching all areas of your life. Here is what life is like after you cheat.
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You won’t sleep for months
Whether or not you tell your partner, you won’t sleep for months. Say goodbye to feeling rested. The guilt of not telling your partner will keep you awake, or the nausea of the pain you’ve caused your partner by telling him will keep you awake. You’ll be a zombie for at least a quarter of the year.
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You’ll have panic attacks
If you’ve never suffered from panic attacks before, get ready to. Your short-lived action has set into motion a tsunami wave of life changes—for you and other people—and you can feel that wave approaching.
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You’ll cry out of nowhere
You will truly feel that you have lost control of your life. You don’t trust your own thoughts. You don’t like being with yourself. Your head is your least favorite place to be. You’ll cry out of despair.
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You’ll try denial
You’ll try denial at one point. Either you’ll deny to yourself that the cheating happened. Or you’ll deny that there was anything wrong with it. You’ll tell yourself it meant nothing—that plenty of people cheat and that this doesn’t mean anything about your character. Denial will only result in bigger panic attacks in the future.
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You’ll project onto your partner
If you haven’t told your partner, you’ll start to project onto him. You’ll find things wrong with him, and even accuse him of cheating. Once you can’t trust yourself, you can’t trust anyone.
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Your friends won’t trust you
Your friends will judge you. They’ll tell you they aren’t, but they are. You’re wearing a scarlet letter now. They don’t want you around their boyfriends—you don’t trust the sanctity of a relationship as far as they’re concerned. Oh, and they won’t emotionally invest in your future boyfriends because they assume you’re just going to cheat on them, too.
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He’ll seek revenge
If you do tell your partner, he’ll seek revenge. This could be either through cheating or just flirting with other people. It could also be through undermining your career and friendships, telling everyone you know what you did, and generally wreaking havoc on your life.
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Woman in therapy. Photo: Shutterstock
Your family will suggest you see a therapist
Your parents will suggest you see a therapist. In fact, a lot of people will suggest this. You’ll think at first, “I don’t need to see a therapist!” But you do. Cheating is a destructive way of dealing with discontent in a relationship and a therapist can help you find out why you turn to it.
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His friends will never like you again
Say goodbye to any approval from his friends. That is over forever. Oh, and their girlfriends and wives, too. They may play nice, but you’ll feel that you’ve been shut out of some club. Eternally.
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His family will forever be wary of you
Should you stay together with your partner, things will never be the same with his family again. This is something they will never forget. They may even spy on you from now on, to make sure you don’t hurt their son again.
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You’ll be on life arrest
You’ve given up the right to privacy. Your partner can and will demand to know who you’re texting, where you’re going, who you’re seeing and what you’re doing at all times. And you’re not allowed to protest. If you protest, you are welcoming in a huge fight.
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You’ll feel isolated
Cheaters are a part of a small and ostracized club. And even the cheaters in the club don’t like each other, so don’t expect to find any solace there. You’ll feel, now, that there is the rest of the world, and then there is you.
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Sex might make you cry
Whether it’s sex with your partner you cheated on, or sex with new people, you’ll cry because you don’t feel you deserve the pleasure.
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You need to tell everyone you date
It’s kind of like being a registered child molester; everywhere you go, you’re obligated to tell people your status. And your status is you’re a cheater. People you date will want to know, and they’ll find out one way or another.
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You’ll scare away most men
A lot of men will not date a woman who has cheated. Men are not as forgiving of female cheaters as women are of male cheaters. Your dating pool just got a lot smaller.
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