Why Having Abs Isn’t All That
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You’ve probably looked at someone with incredible abs and thought, “I’d do anything to have those.” But you probably didn’t know what anything entailed. There’s a reason that, if you drop by any pool party in the United States, you’ll find that six-pack abs are pretty rare. You’ll find some toned tummies and some definition, but those truly chiseled abs are almost as common as a unicorn. And that’s because getting and keeping them requires an entire lifestyle change. Do you really want to choose between living a life you love and having one part of your body—that you barely even show off—be perfect? Well, you’ll have to if you want those abs! Here is why having abs isn’t all that.
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Say goodbye to booze
If you like to wind down with a glass of wine or a cocktail, well you can forget that. In fact, all happy hours with friends are over. The temptation is too strong, and you don’t want to be the buzz kill just sitting there with her water.
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Ditch the dairy
Cheese, milk, butter, ice cream—gone! These make your intestines sluggish and if you are the least bit backed up, it covers up the progress you’re making in your abs. So just understand that you’ll never bite into a grilled cheese again.
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Forget the fruit
That’s a pretty big food group! But fruit contains sugar. If you weren’t trying to get perfect abs, that sugar wouldn’t be a big deal. But right now, you need your body running like a perfectly-oiled machine and cannot handle even the smallest blood sugar spike.
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Cut the carbs
So much as one bread roll can ruin a week of progress. You’ll wake up and see it on your stomach immediately. Keep in mind that when you have perfect abs then the slightest diet mistake you make is more obvious on your body than ever.
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Meal prep is half your life
You’ll have to dedicate your weekends and evenings to meal prep. You cannot afford to be left without a healthy afternoon snack, and running to the vending machine. Every minute of your day, and the food that goes into it must be planned.
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Grocery shopping is the other half
The other half of your life is grocery shopping. Eating food someone else makes simply isn’t an option; you can’t control what they put in there. Plus, you have to have totally fresh protein and vegetables constantly. So you can’t stock up on frozen stuff for the week.
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People rarely see them
People rarely see your abs! Do you live at a pool party? No. You spend 80 percent of your life at work, where it would be inappropriate to show off your abs. And you spend most of the other 20 percent covered up because you’re not at a pool or it’s cold out.
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They may make you look unapproachable
Real talk: the person with the perfect abs looks unapproachable. Ask anybody (who doesn’t have perfect abs—because they’re part of the problem). If you notice less guys chatting with you when you’re in your crop top, the abs could be why. People can assume you’re vain.
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Men do not care
Abs rank pretty low on the list of body parts men care about. Boobs and ass are, of course, way up there. The face comes head to head with boobs and ass. Good proportions tend to matter. But abs? They’re like sprinkles on an already wonderful sundae; you don’t care if they’re there or not.
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Say goodbye to your boobs
You need to lose a tremendous amount of body fat to see ab definition. That means you can kiss your boobies goodbye. Darn: those were fun.
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You’ll always feel hungry
It’s very difficult to feel satiated on the diet you’ll have to maintain to have perfect abs. It’s foods like carbs and cheese that typically round out a meal and help you feel full. There are only so many vegetables you can eat before feeling nauseous.
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Your friends will get annoyed
You can’t do wine night, grab a slice of pizza, go out for frozen yogurt, or even go to the movies (the smell of the popcorn is too tempting). So basically, if your friends want to see you, they just have to go to the gym with you. Fun…
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You’ll insult some people
Your mom will not understand that you cannot eat the lasagna she painstakingly made for you—the lasagna you used to beg for as a kid—because you’re trying to have abs.
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You’re boring
Your entire life is about grocery shopping, meal prepping and working out. You don’t have much to contribute to the conversation.
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Sorry, no birthday cake for you
Celebratory events aren’t so celebratory for you anymore. In fact, you have to turn down the cupcakes your friends made for you for your birthday. Celery, anyone?
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The workouts consume your life
The amount of hours you’ll have to spend working out to have perfect abs each week will astound you. All of your free time will go to working out.
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The final progress takes forever
There’s only so much fat loss your body can handle before it turns to losing muscle mass. The final five pounds you need to lose to get perfect abs are very hard to lose. They can take months.
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They don’t improve longevity
Leading a healthy lifestyle by eating right, sleeping enough and exercising regularly can add years to your life; having abs cannot. So you’re going to lose time to these abs (because you have no life now) when they aren’t going to give you that time back later?
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You’ll need a new wardrobe
You have to get really thin to have abs. That means your clothes will be falling off of you and you have to buy all new ones. That’s quite an expense.
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Once you get there, you have to stay there
All of that torture you just went through—yeah, that’s for life now. If you slip up even the tiniest bit, your abs won’t be as defined within hours. It’s not like normal weight loss where you have to restrict yourself for a while, but once you reach your goals, you can return to a normal life. Nope; this is your life now.
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