Do You Only Want Men Who Don’t Want You?
romantic happy young multiethnic couple enjoying morning coffee by the window in their luxury home
Some women are addicted to the chase. That sounds fun, in theory—it sounds active and adventurous. But only taking joy in the pursuit of love, rather than in love itself, is actually a sign of some underlying emotional issues. If you are not attracted to someone for the simple purpose that they are attracted to you, then by simple math, that means you are, in some way, not attracted to yourself. Meanwhile, if you’re extremely attracted to someone who rejects and avoids you, that means you have the greatest respect and admiration for people who do not respect or admire you. That’s not how it should be. When you love yourself, you only like people who see the good in you—because you see it! So, do you only want men who don’t want you back? Here are the signs.
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You approach men surrounded by women
If you see a man at a bar or party who is surrounded by women, you make it your goal to get that man’s attention. He stands out to you like a bright, pulsating light. Getting a man’s attention is no fun unless a dozen other women want it, too.
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You approach men in relationships
You always seem to find yourself attracted to men who are in relationships. You think it’s bad luck but, the truth is, you haven’t given single men who are interested in you the time of day.
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You find cockiness attractive
Cocky guys usually have the mindset that women should impress them, and that women should prove why they’re good enough for them. You love that mindset. You are turned on by that mindset.
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You zone in on the one man who hasn’t spoken to you
You’re highly aware of the one man at the party who has not spoken to you. Everything you do—from toss your hair back in a loud laugh or sip a drink seductively—is to get his attention. It drives you nuts that he hasn’t spoken to you.
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Your way of flirting is combative
You don’t flirt by being sweet and agreeable; you flirt by having verbal combat. You usually argue with the men you find attractive. It’s like a joust, but with words.
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You mostly have angry sex
Sweet, tender moments don’t lead up to your sex. Oh no. Debating, disagreeing, and full-out yelling leads up to your sex. And it’s always rough, aggressive, angry sex.
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Men who “can’t be tied down” intrigue you
If someone mentions a guy who “can’t be tied down” or is an “eternal bachelor” you are very interested in that guy. You make it your mission to be the one woman who can tie him down.
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You date men who, you say, “better you”
You date men who are highly critical of you. You say that they are just making you better. No—they’re dicks.
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You find overt emotion repulsive
If a man says something like, “I have feelings for you,” “I think you’re really special,” “You mean a lot to me,” or “I could really see this going somewhere” you lose all interest. You actually feel nauseous.
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You meet your dates at odd hours
Your date doesn’t fit you into convenient, real date time slots. You have to meet him at 1 in the morning when he’s done going out with his friends, or at 6 am on a Tuesday for a quick bang.
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You change to make a man notice you
You find yourself thinking of ways to get a man to notice you. You’ll change how you dress, where you hang out, your hair cut, how you speak—everything—to get a man to notice you. You’ve never just been yourself to get a man to notice you.
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You are attracted to cheaters
You aren’t repulsed by cheaters; you’re drawn to them. If you find out a man has a hard time being loyal to one woman, you make it your mission to be the one woman to whom he is loyal.
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Your friends don’t like anyone you date
Because they’re jerks! Your friends don’t know about the twisted psychology in your brain that somehow makes these men look attractive to you. All your friends see is a cocky a**hole who thinks he’s too good for everybody.
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You only date powerful men
Powerful men, like CEOs and celebrities, tend to be, well, cocky. They have all the traits you want; they get plenty of female attention, they’re highly critical of everyone and they usually are too busy to see you.
