Sexist Things Men Don’t Realize They Say - Page 13

Bigstockphoto.com/I have no idea. Portrait of confused young African American male in glasses shrugging shoulders having hesitant and doubtful look screwing up his lips. Human facial expressions and emotions

It’s not just the men outwardly protesting women’s rights by marching in the streets, or the ones who say things like, “A woman’s place is in the kitchen” who are sexist and misogynistic. But there are a lot of men who have the dangerous belief that if they don’t fit into one of those categories, that they are clearly feminist, haven’t done anything wrong, and are pretty much free to do and say what they want. Everyone should question their beliefs, their upbringing, how society has influenced their behavior and how, perhaps, some of their thoughts are, in fact, offensive and destructive. Perhaps it’s men who fall in the gray area of not outwardly sexist who are the most dangerous of all, because it’s harder to call them out for their wrongdoing. Here are offensive and sexist things men don’t even realize they say.

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You’re too pretty to work here

The implication being that the only reason a woman should have to work is if she doesn’t have her looks to carry her through life. Has it ever occurred to them that you want to work there?

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A face like that shouldn’t look sad

Oh, of course, because the only reason a pretty face exists is for men to admire it. And since certain emotions (like sadness or anger) make a face less physically appealing for a moment, then pretty women shouldn’t have those emotions. Right?

How can I say no to a face like that?

In other words, I’m not making this deal with you or signing this contract because of your merit—it’s all because I find you attractive. You just put in all that hard work for nothing. You could have just flirted with me.

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You’re so pretty; you don’t have to swear

Once again, we don’t have emotions, curse, swear and have jobs because we weren’t pretty enough to just sit at home as a trophy wife. We do those things because we are human.

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How has nobody made you their wife yet?

First off, nobody makes a woman their wife—we elect to be somebody’s wife. Second off, don’t assume that we care at all that we aren’t married yet. Unlike the men who say this sentence, most women don’t see their value as depleting as the years go by and they aren’t married yet.

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Uh oh; you’re going to be distracting

So immediately, if this man doesn’t do a good job at his work it’s not his fault—it’s the pretty woman’s fault. Because it’s apparently easier for a woman to change the way her face looks than for a man to, you know, control his damn impulses.

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Bossy doesn’t look good on you

So? We don’t give a damn. We don’t select our emotions based on which ones look the best on our faces. Oh, and notice that men never call other men bossy? Only women. When men are bossy it’s just called assertive and confident.

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You’re totally wife material

Newsflash: every woman on this planet is wife material because she is alive, she is capable of loving and she wants to be loved. Those are the only qualifications for wife material, not whatever nonsense you’ve made up, sir.

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You’re going to be trouble

No, actually, dude you’re trouble. If you think impure thoughts about me, or hit on me, or do anything that your wife wouldn’t be happy about, that’s because you aren’t right with yourself, not because I’m here.

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You’re a total guy’s girl

Because I drink whiskey? Because I like sex? Because I curse? Those traits do not belong to men alone.

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Don’t get drunk; men prey on drunk girls

Maybe instead of women not having to worry about how much they drink, men should go through mandatory training on sexual harassment. How about that? Because you know what? Sometimes we like to get turnt up, and we shouldn’t have to worry about it putting our safety at risk. Men certainly don’t worry about that when they drink.

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You’re just being emotional

I bet you’ve never heard a man say this to another man. Even though men also have emotions because men are also human beings. And that’s really all it takes to emote—being a human being.

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I was trying to be nice; don’t be so sensitive

Oh you mean because you told me my body looks good in this dress? Because you told me I was hot? Was that being nice? It sounds like you were objectifying me. I don’t want you to talk to me like that, and if I say that, respect it—don’t tell me I’m being rude because I don’t let you act however the hell you want.

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You do that well for a girl

So, what you’re saying is, women can only do this task so well and men will always do it better. And you’re not measuring my skill against everyone’s skill level at this task—as you should be—but only against women’s.

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You’re not like most girls

There is no specific way that most girls are. There is no way that most people are. And we don’t appreciate the implication in this “compliment” that because we aren’t like most women, we are better than them, in other words, you don’t like most women, sir.

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Are you a feminist?

Yeah. I sure am. Everybody should be. If you think it’s some unique thing that I believe women deserve the same rights as men, you need to go.

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Women love insert interest here

The moment you say that the reason someone loves something is because she’s a woman, you take away her individuality. Maybe she loves that thing because she’s passionate, athletic, cultured, loves nature….someone’s interests stem from much more than their gender.

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You know what would look good on you?

No and I didn’t ask you. I wasn’t walking around going, “I sure do hope some man finally tells me what hair cut I should have or what style of clothing I should wear.” Are you running a stylist’s studio here? No. You’re a random man on the street. Carry on about your business. You know what would look good on you? Not being sexist.

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You’ve trained your husband nicely

He cooks and cleans and takes care of the kids—there’s no way he just enjoys doing those things, right? His partner must have trained him against his will.