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People who are not bisexual might think of bisexuals as having tons of lovers and flings, being in open relationships, being polygymous and then some. But just because bisexuals are attracted to both sexes doesn’t mean that they don’t also want monogamous relationships. Think about it: you’re probably attracted to a lot of people who aren’t your partner, but you just want to be with your partner at the end of the day. But, of course, if a bisexual person dates a hetero or homosexual person, there may be some confusion and complications. There is always a slight amount of jealousy and possessiveness that goes on in any relationship—when both genders are possible interests to somebody, those dynamics are bound to increase. Here are relationship struggles only bisexuals understand.

 

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Your partner will call out other women

Your partner thinks it’s okay to say, “That woman’s sexy, isn’t she?” because you also find women attractive. But that doesn’t mean you want either of you pointing out the other people you find attractive. You’re still your partner’s girlfriend.

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Your partner will think you’re up for a threesome

Just because you are attracted to both sexes doesn’t mean you want threesomes at all. Furthermore, you don’t like the idea of your partner having sex with someone else. Period.

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Outsiders will think you’re up for a threesome

Single women looking for threesomes will approach you and your partner a lot because they hear you’re bisexual. It’s uncomfortable—being hit on, with your partner.

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Your partner is suspicious of your friendships

Your partner inevitably wonders if some of your closer girlfriends are women to whom you’re attracted, or have even slept with in the past. Somehow, this question doesn’t cross his mind as much about your male friends.

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People think you won’t get married

Your partner has doubts that you’ll want to get married, thinking that one day you’ll “change” into being 100% gay, and unhappy in your marriage. It doesn’t work that way.

 

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Your partner needs to know which way you swing more

Your partner desperately wants to know if you’re more attracted to men or women. All he needs to know is that you’re completely attracted to him—enough to commit to him.

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Your partner feels insecure about his bedroom skills

Because you’ve been with women, and they definitely knows what feels good on women, your partner feels a bit insecure about his bedroom skills. He may even ask you, “Are women better at this?”

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Your partner feels insecure about his, um, stuff

If you’re down to get down with the male and female anatomy, your partner can’t help but wonder sometimes, “Does the male penis gross you out?”

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The constant, “Are you attracted to that person?” questioning

You’re bisexual, not hypersexual. So you wish your partner would stop asking if you’re attracted to every person you exchange a smile or laugh with.

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Your partner’s friends just call you a lesbian

Not to your face, but behind your back, and you know it. In fact, a lot of people refer to you as gay, even though you’ve told them plenty of times that you’re not.

 

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Your partner’s jokes about your clothes

Anytime you wear slightly masculine clothes, your partner teases you with some comment like, “You must be a little more gay than straight today.”

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Your urge to wear your partner’s clothes

Real talk: you totally want to wear some of your partner’s clothes but you know it would only invite more of the aforementioned comments.

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The, “Will you ever be totally straight?” question

It’s sad to see, but your partner yearns for a day when you’ll “shake off” the bisexuality thing and only be attracted to men.

 

 

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The, “What will we tell our kids/my parents?” question

You don’t have to tell them anything unless it comes up. Even if you were straight, it’s not like you’d tell your in-laws and children about all your sexcapades from the past.

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Your partner’s desire for you to keep it a secret

While you don’t bring up the topic of your bisexuality all of the time, you also wish your partner wouldn’t ask you to hide it—that feels like he’s ashamed of a part of you.