You Just Became Official; Here’s How Not To Blow It
Bigstockphoto.com/African American female kissing man next to blueprints.
Ideally, you shouldn’t really have to have the “what are we conversation?” Usually, when you’ve seen each other for a while, things have been going great, you’ve met one another’s friends and already keep a tooth brush at each other’s homes, you know what you are. That being said, plenty of unfortunate women have been in those exact scenarios only to find out the guy they’d been seeing also had his toothbrush at another woman’s home. So, yeah, sometimes you do need to have the talk. Plus, making it “official” is kind of important since then you can call your boyfriend your boyfriend without worrying he’ll freak out all because you hadn’t had “the talk.” But making it official shouldn’t change much. If you and boo just made it official, here’s how not to blow it.
Corbis
Going straight to Facebook
You’re in your (insert age that is over 19 here) now; you don’t need to make your relationships Facebook official. Really, that should be saved for marriage at this point. If your boyfriend gets a Facebook request to make your relationship official ten minutes after you made in real-life official, he may feel like you just want to show off.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Expecting more phone calls
He doesn’t have to check in anymore now that he’s your boyfriend. The amount that he checked in before is the amount he’s comfortable checking in. He can still just read a book during his lunch break instead of call you if he wants.
Shutterstock
Increasing PDA tenfold
If you were withholding PDA before, thinking you had to be his girlfriend to show it, that may have been a mistake. Now, you may want to sit on his lap while he is driving because of all that pent up PDA.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Inviting him to share a Google calendar
He will still be keeping his own calendar, and you will be keeping yours. Sharing Google calendars is for married couples who need to make sure they don’t have some office party or parents’ anniversary to attend before they schedule the cable guy.
Shutterstock
Bringing over a box of things
Making it official doesn’t make you a part-time roommate. If your thinking behind bringing over a mini wardrobe is that you’ll be over there a lot now, that’s another issue we’ll get to later.
Shutterstock
Airing your grievances
If you had a list of issues/grievances/concerns about the relationship, you may think that now that the relationship is official, you can bring those up. That will just terrify the guy and make him realize you aren’t great at communicating.
Shutterstock
Making new rules
You do not have some sort of claim over your boyfriend now that he’s your boyfriend. He made things official with you because he felt that he could be himself, and do what he wanted to do, in a relationship with you. You can’t suddenly state that that wasn’t true.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Rubbing it in that one female friend’s face
You know—that one female friend of his who you believe likes him? Yeah, you can’t just call her up to let her know he’s your boyfriend now so she should back off.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Calling your friend to tell her—in front of him
You can call your girlfriends and your sister and your dermatologist to let them know, but wait until your new boyfriend has left the building.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Assuming his weekends are yours
You can’t be shocked and offended to find out he has made weekend plans without consulting you to make sure you didn’t want to do something. His time is still his time.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Making alone time a thing of the past
If your partner liked to spend Sunday nights alone to decompress and rest before the week, he’ll still want that. Being his girlfriend doesn’t mean you get to take that away from him.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Discussing the next step
Taking this step doesn’t mean you get to discuss other steps, like when you’ll be moving in together or spending the holidays with his family.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Posting all the photos you have together
You have albums and albums of photos you’ve taken of the two of you during the early stages. Now you’re ready to blast them to the social media world! Hoooold on there. Not even your boyfriend knows you have these photos.
Shutterstock
Tossing the word boyfriend around too much
He still has a regular name. You don’t need to refer to him as your boyfriend to your pharmacist, strangers on the street and every pizza delivery person who didn’t even ask about him.
Shutterstock
Feeling entitled to information
His secrets are still his secrets. The whole “We have to tell each other everything” rule is rather a bit of BS. If there was something he wouldn’t tell you before it was official, he’s still not going to tell you.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Showing up unannounced
He’ll still want to know when you’re coming over; he could be on the toilet, dancing naked, or masturbating for all you know.
Shutterstock
Becoming lazy in bed
Don’t make the poor guy regret making this official by taking all of those fun foreplay tricks off the table now. He genuinely believes you enjoy those; don’t burst the poor guy’s bubble.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Dropping all fitness routines
Your fitness routine should be for yourself and for nobody else. But furthermore, if your partner sees you just give up on being in shape once you make things official, he’ll feel like you only took care of your health to find a man.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Dropping all beauty routines
Obviously, you should feel comfortable walking around with no makeup in sweat pants in front of your man! But making things official doesn’t mean you get to go out to date night in your sweat pants.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Changing, at all
Your boyfriend wanted to make things official because he liked you just the way you were and things just the way they were. Just keep on living life as if the conversation never happened.
