Common Thoughts That Keep Women Awake At Night - Page 2

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If you’re a man who sleeps next to a woman and you notice her tossing and turning a lot throughout the night, I’ve got news for you: women across the globe are doing it. Your friends put up with the same thing. We all do it. Women are just worriers. And at night, when we don’t have work or friends to distract us, the worrying really hits. If you’re a woman who wonders if you’re insane for obsessing over the things you obsess over between 11 pm and 4 am, you’re not insane. But that doesn’t mean you should accept this constant state of purgatory you’re stuck in in the middle of the night. Most of your concerns are ridiculous and seeing them written out like this may show you just how ridiculous they are. Here are common thoughts that keep women awake at night.

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No, this is the perfect outfit for tomorrow

Okay, so the flowy blouse and the pencil skirt. Done. No. Too feminine. Add a leather jacket. Wait that looks silly with a pencil skirt. Add jeans. Where are you going? The rodeo? I should just get up and lay these options out so I can really see them.

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If I don’t go to sleep now, then I won’t be “on” tomorrow

I won’t nail that presentation, I won’t dominate that pitch meeting, I won’t be alert doing that conference call, and my boss will think that freaking Joline should have my job.

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If I don’t go to sleep now, then I won’t enjoy tomorrow

Life is so precious! And when I’m in a sleep-deprived haze, I barely get to enjoy it. This is a tragedy. I’m awake now so why don’t I just do all the fun things I would do tomorrow now?

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If my partner moves one more time…!

If my partner moves one more time, I am going to duck tape his limbs to this bed. Every time he moves he yanks the blanket off of me and wakes me up! I should move to the couch. No, he should move to the couch. I don’t mean that. I love him.

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I should pee so I don’t get a bladder infection

If I fall asleep without peeing first, I might stay asleep too long with a full bladder. That can lead to a bladder infection, right?

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I’m peeing a lot; do I already have a bladder infection?

I am getting up to pee a lot. Oh no—do I already have a bladder infection? Or UTI? Or an STD?! Hmmm. Where would I have gotten that? Let’s sit up and think about that for four hours.

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Life goes by too fast

I feel like I blink my eyes and I’m suddenly getting back in bed, after another, repetitive day. I should book a trip to travel the world. I should go skydiving. I should….I’m sleepy.

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My boyfriend sleeps so well; what is wrong with him?

Look at him just sleeping over there, without a care in the world. What is wrong with him? Are we not compatible enough? Does he think enough? Doesn’t look like it right now.

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I should’ve told that man off

There’s always some man who catcalls or makes a misogynist comment, and at the moment, you’re too stunned and offended to come up with a good comeback.

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Here are all the ways I should’ve told him off

Of course, in the middle of the night, all of the good comebacks you should’ve told that man come rushing through your head. In fact, every come back for every man who ever offended you comes to you.

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Did I answer that email?

I feel like I remember myself writing a response, but now I can’t remember if I hit send. My dog walked in right when I was about to hit send…and he needed a walk…and I closed my computer. Ah! What happened!?

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That person will think I’m angry or dead if I don’t answer

That person is going to think I’m angry at them or dead if I don’t respond. I should get my computer right now. Wait…they’ll think I’m crazy for emailing at 3 in the morning.

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I’ll check Facebook one more time. I don’t know why

Must…check…Face…book…Must…refresh…one…more…time.

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WHY THE HELL AM I STILL AWAKE?

This is so annoying! What is wrong with me?! Why can’t I just fall asleep like everyone else in the world! I’m sure my insomnia is putting me behind in life on…everything!