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Becoming a father changes a man in ways he could never imagine. When a man is expecting a child, he mostly just thinks about making enough money to support the child and making sure he knows how to keep the child alive. He may also think about the fact that he can’t stay out and get drunk until 2 am on the weekends anymore. But there is so much more in store for a new father that he, nor you, could imagine. So much of a man’s personality is attached to the fact that he only needs to worry about his own life. Anyone is free to be selfish, difficult, impatient, vain and more when those traits won’t immediately affect another life. But when a man becomes a father, all that goes out the window. Here are unexpected ways becoming a father changes a man.

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They express their love to everyone more

Your partner will be gushing with love. He’ll tell his child every ten minutes that he loves her; he’ll tell you every ten minutes he loves you because now you’re truly family. And before he knows it, he’ll be telling his friends he loves them when he gets off the phone with them.

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They become much better listeners

Being a father means truly listening when your little kid talks about how the dinosaur in their book ate a tree before getting on the gummy bear spaceship and having a conversation about it. After that, your partner will be able to follow along in any conversation, and will truly listen when you talk about which foods make you bloated.

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They genuinely fall in love with cuddling

Even if your partner was already a cuddler, he’ll become a grade A one once he’s starts snuggling your child. There will be a similarity in the flow of hormones he gets when he cuddles with your child, and when he cuddles with you, and he’ll love them all.

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They become planners (finally)

You will no longer be the only over-planner in your couple. Your partner will start to think about leaving early to skip traffic, getting to restaurants early before they run out of coloring books and packing snacks in case the food takes a long time.