Slightly Crazy Things You Do If You’re Single Around The Holidays
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If you are single around the holidays, the industry that surrounds this time of year is bound to drive you a little nuts. You’ll see billboards with engagement rings and the words “Give her what she really wants this Christmas…” and commercials showing happy couples enjoying a cruise they purchased during the holiday sale. Then, of course, there are your friends who make too much of a point to introduce you to their other single friends at their holiday parties. You’re not crazy by nature, but this time of year can make you temporarily so. At one point, that “All I want for Christmas is you” song playing in the department stores puts you over the edge, and you act out. Here are hilarious but embarrassing things you may do if you’re single during the holidays.
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Buy yourself a lot of presents
Since you don’t necessarily have a special someone to buy you a present, you buy yourself one—actually, you buy yourself plenty. “These are my gifts to myself” you’ll say, but you definitely just spent too much money.
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Sit on Santa’s lap
You know, with all of the children at the mall. You’ll wait in line, sit on his lap, and ask him to give you a boyfriend for Christmas. Of course, Santa is a grown man who will get too excited about you sitting on his lap.
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Rip off the mistletoe
That sh*t was taunting you. It had to go.
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Ask for frozen eggs
You may tell your mom that what you’d like for Christmas is for her to pay for you to have your eggs frozen.
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Become fixated on volunteering
There is certainly nothing wrong with volunteering! You should give back all you can. But single people around the holidays can fill the void of a relationship with volunteering. You may find yourself refusing to go home long after the soup kitchen has closed—there must be something else you can do!
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Have spiked eggnog with every meal
Including in a thermos at work. What? You’re just getting in the freaking holiday spirit Susan with the four kids stop looking at me!
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Try a winter version of Wild
Yes, like the Reese Witherspoon movie. You may become so determined to prove to yourself that you don’t need anyone that you trek out into the Wilderness. It was very cold, though—you trekked back inside quickly to your eggnog.
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Hang around Christmas tree lots
There are a lot of men with strong arms who can cut down trees, wearing sexy flannel shirts and dawning beards. Well, you hoped there would be. It’s mostly one older man and his teenage sons hoping to make a little extra cash.
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Bake, bake, bake
If you just keep baking, you won’t think about the fact that you have nobody special to bake for. Nope—you’ll just fill your apartment with trays of cookies and overload the office break room with them.
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Throw a fit in the lingerie store
“Excuse me. I would just like some normal underwear. Is there no more normal freaking underwear that doesn’t include a Santa-themed Teddy left in this town?!”
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Send out a solo holiday card
Just because you don’t have a husband, kids and a dog to fill up the photo doesn’t mean you’re not going to send a photo of yourself, looking hot as ever, wearing a Santa hat, to all of your friends.
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Leave Facebook
Because you cannot see one more Christmas Day or New Year’s Even engagement.
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Buy yourself all the holiday chocolate
“Yes, I will take ten of the heart-shaped boxes covered in wreaths. No, they are not a present why would you even think that?”
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Be very sensitive at home
You believe that every comment your parents make is a subtle dig at you for not bringing someone home for the holidays. Your mom just asked you to peel potatoes.
