Passive-Aggressive Behavior You Know You’ve Done After A Fight - Page 15

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Sometimes, talking things out just isn’t enough. Sometimes agreeing to disagree still leaves you a little bit pissed. Nobody’s perfect. We’d all like to think we handle relationship disputes with grace, patience and dignity but…come on. You’re only human and sometimes, even if you know with your head that your partner doesn’t deserve any nasty behavior from you, your ego does not get the message. Since, of course, the logical thing is to accept the outcome of the fight, you can’t directly say or do anything to upset your partner. You’re “getting along” now. Apparently. You can still, however, get in your little jabs here and there. Here are passive aggressive behaviors you know you’ve been guilty of after a fight.

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Going to bed early

You know your partner looks forward to your evening snuggles. Which is why, tonight, you will be feeling “really tired early for some reason” and pretend you didn’t hear him when he said, “Wait up just ten minutes! I want to cuddle.” Nope. Ten minutes later your eye mask and ear plugs are in.

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Being loud in the morning

You swear the wind slammed the door shut. And the radio turned itself on at 7 in the morning after your partner went to bed at 2 am—it’s a glitch. You’ll get it checked out.

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Letting him sweat out the, “I love you”

You’re still a little mad, so when your partner says, “I love you” you say nothing. And then when he says, “Babe?” you say, “Oh I’m sorry—did you say something?” He tells you he loves you again. You give him a, “You too.”

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Missing calls and texting back

You’re going to let a few phone calls go by “missed.” You’ll listen to his voice mail, and you’ll send him back a cool, measured text of, “Got your message—sorry swamped right now.”

Making him run late

He is waiting in the car. He is honking the horn. You know he loves the previews. But you’re up in the apartment, taking your sweet time, making sure all of the stove burners are turned off, one at a time.

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Book up your weekend

You don’t ask your partner what his plans are. You don’t ask him if he wanted to make plans with you. Instead, you just go ahead and book up your weekend—and you only tell him that when he meekly asks, “What should we do this weekend?” Nuh-uh. He is on his own.

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“Forget” to unlock the chain lock

Right before you get in the shower. And blast the music loudly. And sort of know your partner will probably get home while you’re in the shower.

Not replacing the toilet paper

You know you’re eating Thai food tonight and you know what that does to his bowels. Gosh…if only you’d replaced the toilet paper roll when you finished it earlier today. Also, you’ll conveniently be out walking the dog when he yells for you desperately from the toilet.

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Reject his kindness

He has made you dinner. But you just discovered you have a gluten sensitivity—yup, just today. So you can’t eat the food he took two hours to make.

Doing a load of laundry without asking him

You always, always ask if he has anything he needs to be washed when you do a load. It just so happens that today, the first laundry load since the recent fight, you forgot to ask him. He was totally out of clean underwear. You swear you had no idea.

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Not be “in the mood.”

You definitely won’t be in the mood for sex if you’re still in passive aggressive mode. You may or may not only mention this once he is totally erect from making out. Gee. Bad timing.

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Taking teasing too far

You know you weren’t supposed to talk about your partner’s rash in that weird place. But you, um, forgot that after having a few cocktails. And you told everyone at your dinner party. You were laughing though so, you were just teasing him…so you say.

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The silent treatment

Ah, the good old silent treatment. You don’t actually stay silent when your partner asks you a question. But you don’t initiate conversation, and you keep your answers very short. Plus, you keep your headphones on because you’re “Very invested in this podcast” allegedly.

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Reminding him of a painful event

It has not been established yet whether or not it’s too soon to talk about that business

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Procrastinating in front of his face

Your partner asks you to clean up the pile of clothes at your feet. You say, “Okay I will.” And you continue texting your friend.

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Feigning sensitivity

You analyze everything your partner says, seeing if there is anything you can take the wrong way. You love taking things the wrong way right now. If you can make your partner believe he’s hurt your feelings, it’s the ultimate passive-aggressive win.

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Failing to call from the store

You know your partner has no groceries. You also know he’s been complaining about being out of deodorant—it’s been humiliating him everywhere he goes. But you will be in just such a rush you won’t have time to call and ask if he needs anything from the store.

Setting him up to fail

You are going to dinner with another couple. You know one of the people is very sensitive about something. Their partner warned you not to bring it up. But oops…you forgot to tell your partner not to bring it up.

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Making yourself dinner. Just you.

“Oh. I made food…your favorite food actually. I already ate it all, though. I assumed you would have eaten on your way home.”