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Let’s just get this out of the way: falling in love with your boyfriend’s best friend is incredibly common. If you’ve experienced it (or are going through it right now) you’re not strange, or awful, or twisted, you’re falling victim to something that happens to a lot of people. Of course, acting on it almost never ends well. If the friend goes for it, then you just ruined a friendship. And possibly for nothing, since this relationship may not even work out. If he doesn’t go for it then, well, you’ll certainly be remembered as the cold-hearted woman who tried to leave her man for his best friend. Nonetheless, it’s one of the oldest stories in the book. Here’s why it’s so common to fall for your boyfriend’s best friend.
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He may be complementary
Many people choose their friends based on complementary character traits. So, your boyfriend’s best friend may be the total opposite of him in many ways. They may get along so well because one thrives where the other fall shorts, and one stresses about things that the other lets slide.
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Why you fall in love
If you’re realizing that your partner is all wrong for you, then it’s no surprise that somebody who is exactly the opposite of him would look appealing to you.
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Or he’s just like him
Some men are friends with guys who are just like them. They obviously have some differences, but they have the same interests, same sense of humor, and many of the same values.
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Why you fall in love
If your boyfriend’s best friend is similar to him, then he is clearly also your type. So if something about your boyfriend just doesn’t work for you, it’s easy to look around and think, “Why don’t I just try again with this other one, who is basically the same, but just the right amount of different?”
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You see eye to eye on a lot
There is a good chance that your boyfriend’s best friend gets mad at your boyfriend for all of the same things you get mad at him about. Best friends are almost like surrogate partners, without the sex, so the BF is most likely subjected to many of the same annoyances you are.
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Why you fall in love
Hey, people bond over going through the same struggles. If you and the best friend vent to each other enough about your boyfriend’s inability to stick to plans, you may start to think, “Why don’t we just date?”
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You are comfortable
There was probably one point when you never thought you’d be interested in your boyfriend’s best friend. For that reason, you got really comfortable with him—you farted around him, were extremely open and honest with him and generally treated him like a best friend, too.
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Why you fall in love
It’s quite common to fall in love with someone you feel very comfortable around. If things feel rocky with your boo, you may mistake feelings of comfort around his best friend for romantic feelings.
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He cares about you
If you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while, then his friends are bound to have grown to care about you. The best friend is probably protective of you and invested in your happiness.
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Why you fall in love
If the issue in your relationship is that it feels as though your boyfriend doesn’t care enough, then your romantic radar is going to turn on the nearest guy who does care.
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He knows everything
You’ve been drunk around your boyfriend’s best friend enough to have told him every piece of family drama, ex-relationship drama and then some. He knows you in and out.
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Why you fall in love
Being with somebody who already knows about all of your dirty baggage and doesn’t judge you for it is quite appealing. Especially if you feel like your partner hasn’t been emotionally present lately.
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He’s in love with you
It may just turn out that your boyfriend can’t trust his best friend as much as he thought he could! It’s very possible that your boyfriend’s best friend sees the way he treats you, thinks you deserve better, and drunkenly tells you so one night.
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Why you fall in love
I mean…we’ve all been caught off guard by the Prince Charming here to rescue us act before.
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He’s already vetted
You already know everything about your boyfriend’s best friend, too. He’s confessed a lot to you over the months, and shown you just about every side of his personality.
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Why you fall in love
Being with somebody who you already know a lot about is much more appealing than going back out into the tumultuous dating waters.
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