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People don’t always realize the power of words. You may not think that you do much harm by putting yourself down because just because you say something bad about yourself, doesn’t make that bad thing true—right? Well. Yes and no. When you say negative things about yourself, you start to push your own ideas of yourself on to other people. But what’s more is that, when you hear yourself say negative things about yourself out loud, those ideas slip even deeper into your subconscious, and come out in your behavior. In other words, putting yourself down can be a form of a self-fulfilling prophecy. What’s worse is that this behavior can attract the wrong people. Like men looking for women with low self-esteem who they feel they can control and mold. It can also attract sad, unstable people because they believe you’re just as unstable. A lot of people don’t even realize they put themselves down.But if you’re regularly saying the following things you’re doing just that.

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Image Source: Shutterstock

You say all the ways your outfit went wrong

If somebody compliments you on the way you look, you go into a long story about how these aren’t even the pants you wanted to wear, but you no longer fit into the ones you wanted to wear, and these were the only ones that matched your boring tops.

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Shutterstock

You’re shy to suggest an activity

When a group of people, or your date, discusses what you should do for the evening, you never speak up. If people ask for your suggestion, you always preface it with, “It’s a stupid idea. Nobody will want to do it.”

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You constantly apologize when you cook

When you make dinner for a date, you make apologies for every little thing. You apologize that things are taking too long, you apologize for not getting better wine, you apologize for adding too much salt.

 

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Shutterstock

You get long, “It’s not you, it’s me” speeches

Anytime somebody breaks up with you, they give you a long, “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. And they give you lots of reasons why it’s not you. They want to make sure you understand it’s not you.

Corbis

Corbis

Friends call, “Just to check on you” a lot

You get a lot of calls from friends with concerned voices saying, “I was just checking in…seeing how that insert life event like doctor’s visit here went.” They worry that you don’t feel anybody thinks you’re important.