19 Battles Successful Couples Don’t Pick - Page 6
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Sometimes what makes a couple successful isn’t what they talk about but, instead, it’s what they don’t talk about. Part of being a grownup and carrying out any type of successful relationship–romantic or otherwise–is recognizing when someone had malicious intent, and when they didn’t. And that’s all that should matter. The person may have done something that annoyed you; that caused you a great inconvenience or that maybe even ruined your whole damn day. But if you know they only want the best for you, you have to learn to let it go. Sometimes, in the moment, it can feel impossible not to say something. But if you just hang tight and let the moment pass, you can go on to have an incredible day together and forget the whole thing ever happened. That’s just what happy couples do. Here are 19 fights that successful couples don’t pick.
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Other women reaching out
It sucks that other women don’t always respect your position as the girlfriend, but that’s not your partner’s fault. In happy couples, one person doesn’t get mad when the other person gets hit on.
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He’s not feeling as cuddly as you are
You both have totally different days and experiences that can lead to totally different moods at the end of the day. Successful couples know that if one person isn’t feeling very affectionate, it’s probably not personal.
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One person does all the decorating
In a perfect world, the home is a balance of half of his things and half of hers. But in the real world, it always ends up being that one person has more time to decorate than the other. So they do, and that’s that.
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Interrupted sleep
While having your sleep interrupted is very annoying, successful couples don’t fight about it. When one person flushes the toilet and wakes the other up, they both just roll over and try to go back to sleep.
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He’s not in the mood for sex tonight
See the “he’s not feeling cuddly” section. After you’ve been with somebody for a while, you have the context in which to understand why sometimes they just aren’t in the mood for sex. You know it’s not personal.
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He has a shady past
This is one thing that successful couples absolutely don’t fight about. Everybody has one, so if every couple fought about that, nobody would stay together. If your partner is a good person now then that’s all that matters.
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Picking work over the relationship sometimes
If the person generally makes an effort to make time for the relationship, and not let work get in the way, that’s all their partner can ask. There is no point in fighting because once in a blue moon, a meeting gets in the way of date night.
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Zoning out around the other’s friends
Really mature couples understand that the mere fact their partner spent their precious Friday night with the other person’s friends is effort enough. They don’t get upset if their partner seems tired and zones out.
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How he treats his parents
Successful couples know that how their partner treats their parents is a family matter. They may try to suggest (gently) that they work on the relationship, but that’s it. Making one relationship (yours) strong is work enough.
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Whose stuff takes up more space
Successful couples know that this only happens on accident, and accidents are not worth fighting over.
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He can’t make every family event
Similar to the work issue, when one partner has to bail on the other’s family event at the last minute, it’s not worth fighting over. If they are usually there, that’s all you can ask for.
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Anything about domestic chores
This is a never ending battle if couples choose to pick it. Dishes, laundry, and cleaning never end. So successful couples choose to take a very kind tone when bringing up these issues–but it’s never a fight.
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Zoning out during conversation
Again, successful couples know that their partner may have had a stressful day. This is especially true after they’ve been together for a while. Rather than get angry if their partner isn’t listening, they just choose a better time to talk.
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He has some annoying moods
Two people are not going to be compatible at every moment of every day. Successful couples learn to recognize when their partner is in a mood that they find annoying, and they just occupy themselves until their partner is out of that mood. They don’t nitpick about it.
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He doesn’t give enough social media love
Social media behavior is a personal preference. Mature couples understand that the partner might not be active about posting cute couples photos, or liking the other one’s status and that that’s not personal.
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He forgets about you at parties
Successful couples take everything on a case by case basis. While their partner might wander off and ignore them at a party, if it’s a party where both people know plenty of people and can clearly have fun without each other, they let it go. If of course, only one person knows people there and they abandon the other, that might be worth bringing up.
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Whose family you visit more
Between your schedules, and your family’s’ schedules, it might just so happen that visits to one person’s family are more convenient than visits to the other. Successful couples don’t fight about this.
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Forgetfulness
You can’t get mad at someone for forgetting something. What you can get mad about is this; you ask your partner to implement a system of remembering important things–like a physical calendar, online calendar, alarm clocks, post it notes–and he doesn’t do it.
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Not standing up to rude family members
Like I said before, keeping one relationship strong is enough work. Mature couples don’t pick a fight if one person has a slightly rude family member, and that person doesn’t speak up about it.
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