Signs A Man Is Still Finding Himself - Page 15

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There is nothing wrong with a guy finding himself! In fact, it’s very important that everybody find themselves –especially before getting into a relationship. If a man doesn’t know who he is before attaching himself to someone else there is no chance that relationship will last. Why? Because his personality, tastes, goals, preferences and values are still changing. A woman gets into a relationship with one man and finds herself in it with a totally different one halfway through.

When a man has found himself, his partner can actually predict how he’ll respond to just about every situation, and that’s a good thing. You don’t want to date a guy who has no idea what he would do if he were offered a million dollars to get a vasectomy—see my point? You can’t plan a life with a man who is still finding himself, so know how to spot the ones who are.

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He’s very active on social media

People who are very active on social media still need outside input on most of what they do, think, wear and say. Social media is great for that! But you don’t want to be with that guy.

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Selfies abound

There will be some backlash on this but…selfies are just more acceptable among women than they are for (straight) men. Before getting up and arms about this, just think about how relationships have ended with men who posted lots of selfies. Uh-uh. I’m guessing they cheated, or ran off to Europe in the middle of the night because their spirit animal told them to.

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They still talk about exes

Everybody talks a little bit about exes, but people who spend a lot of time analyzing past relationships are still finding themselves. When a man knows himself, he sees very clearly why relationships ended. There’s nothing to talk about.

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Anger about exes

This is the next step to finding oneself; letting go of anger over exes. Some men might be able to state clearly why things didn’t work with an ex, but if they’re still mad about it, it’s because they’re still insecure. They can’t just say, “We were wrong for each other, but nobody was wrong.”

Their style is all over the map

They dress like a surfer one day, a wall street banker the next, and a man who lives at Coachella the following.

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They have odd friends

They have friends with questionable values. That’s because they’re still questioning their own values.

They let you be bossy

You slip up on a date and you’re accidentally a little bossy. You expect them to check you or at least give you a weird look, and instead, they just let you walk all over them and abide by your unfair request. That man hasn’t found his voice.

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They don’t know what they want to do

For men, knowing what they want to do in their careers is a big part of their identity. If they haven’t got a clue, they’re still finding themselves.

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He has a new business idea every day

This is similar to having no idea what he wants to do with his life, but it’s masked in a lot of confidence. Some guys, to run from the fact that they’re lost, get really excited about a new, totally different business idea every week.

They have questionable exes

They’re clearly still in their experimental phase since their most recent exes included: a stripper, a marketing executive, and woman still in college.

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They have a new charitable interest every week

Most men feel a desire to be useful in this world. When a man isn’t quite sure how that will happen, he has a new charitable interest every week. One week he’s volunteering at a soup kitchen, the next he’s on a plane to work at an orphanage in a third world country for a month. They’re admirable pursuits, of course, but the fact that he can’t stick to one shows he’s still finding himself.

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Their decorating is sporadic

They’ll decide one week that they are minimalists, and get rid of all of their furniture. But the next week they’ll decide they want a condo that screams “Power” with all suede couches and glass tables.

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They’re insecure in bed

Men who are insecure in bed are insecure in life. Plain and simple.

They’re reading self-help books

These are a clear sign that anybody, regardless of gender, is still finding him or herself. Self-help books are great! But people who devour four a week obviously still need a little help in the self-department.