Caring Gestures That Only Scare Immature Men
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There’s a tragic phenomenon happening in the dating world: kind, caring and thoughtful women are being made to believe that they’re too needy, that they come off as desperate, or that they’re downright creepy for showing interest in a man. Granted, there is something to be said for holding back a little when you’re just getting to know somebody. Nobody should blow grand gestures on a first date since most first dates go nowhere. But if it’s been established that a guy is into you, and he has even gone out of his way to do thoughtful things for you, you should feel no qualms about showing a little TLC. If you’re a woman who is constantly thinking of others but is constantly dumped, don’t let anybody tell you that you came on too strong. You aren’t the problem; the problem is the guys you’re dating. You’re mature enough to know that kindness and generosity are important in a relationship, so date men who are mature enough to appreciate that. Here are 15 caring gestures that only scare off immature men.
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Offering to stay in with him
You’ve been dating a guy for a couple of months, and he tells you he’s feeling blue one night. So you cancel your plans to go out to stay in with him and cheer him up. An immature man still wants to feel that you’re hard to get—he wants you to ditch him for a night club. A mature man realizes that it’s incredibly mature of you to nurture a relationship instead of dance with strangers.
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Remembering a big day
You remember that today is the day he gives a presentation at work that could change his life! So you drop off a cute card on his desk or send a funny video message. An immature man would think, “She must have no life if she remembered this.” A mature man thinks, “It’s so sweet that she made a point, in the middle of her busy life, to remember this.”
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Bringing soup over
Bringing soup over to the home of the sick guy who you’ve been dating is generous. You spent your time and money on that soup. A mature guy appreciates that you are nurturing and empathetic. An immature guy hasn’t learned to love himself yet, so he doesn’t know how to accept acts of love like this.
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Keeping his favorite food around
Immature men think it’s creepy that you took them into consideration during your grocery shopping. Mature men think you’re just a good host for always being prepared for your guests.
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Offering to DD him and his friends
The guy you’re dating has a night planned on the town with his guy friends. You offer to be their designated driver. The immature man sees an opportunity to take advantage of you. The mature man asks when he can take you to a nice dinner to thank you.
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Dropping off lunch
You know the guy you’re dating has a very busy day ahead of him and won’t have time to eat anything that doesn’t come out of the vending machine; you bring him a hot lunch. An immature man hears the music from the movie “Scream,” while a mature man hears wedding bells.
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Throwing him a surprise party
An immature man sees this as a ploy for you to meet all of his friends. A mature man thinks of all of the time and efforts you put into this, and that you were willing to make awkward calls to his friends who you’ve never met, just to put together the perfect guest list.
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Getting gift tips from his friends
An immature man thinks this was just a ploy for you to get closer to his friends. A mature man thinks, “Wow. She took the time to call my friends to make sure she got me a gift that would really mean something to me.”
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Buying little “just because” gifts
You remembered that he loves a certain band, so when you saw one of their old vinyl records at a yard sale, you picked it up for him. Immature men like divas who don’t really listen when they talk, so immature men will be freaked out that you remembered this. Mature men will appreciate what a good listener you are—there aren’t many of those these days.
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Offering to pay
Your boo can’t afford to do an expensive activity you’d like to do, so you offer to pay for him, so that you can have his company. An immature man thinks you’re a pushover—he’s used to princesses who insist on being paid for always—and the mature man finds your generosity rare and admirable.
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Doing some cleaning for him
Your guy falls asleep early because he’s had a very long day. He has another three long days ahead of him, and his dishes are piling up. So you do some for him—you think it’ll be nice for him to wake up to a clean home. The immature man thinks you’re trying to be his mother; the mature man appreciates that you’re willing to do something that isn’t very fun, just to make his week better.
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Letting him pick the movie or restaurant
You are genuinely happy eating any food or watching any movie, so you let your guy choose. An immature man thinks you have no opinion of your own; a mature man knows that you have learned what really matters in life, and it’s not the movie or the restaurant but the company.
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Creating an at-home spa day
You know the guy you’re dating has had a very stressful day, so you create a spa in his home. You get massage oils, draw him a bath and light some candles. Immature men are freaked out that you spent so much time in their home when they weren’t there; mature men melt at your feet over this gesture.
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Offering to help his parents
Your boo mentions his parents need a ride to the airport or a doctor’s appointment when he’s out of town; you offer to do it. An immature man sees this as a ploy to get in good graces with his parents, and a mature man realizes that you’re made of the same stuff a good life partner is made of.
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Offering to help his friends
His friend mentions he needs an extra set of hands moving, and you offer your hands. An immature man feels like you’re encroaching on his space; a mature man is impressed that you’d give up your Saturday to help somebody else.
