20 Subtle Signs He’s Feeling Smothered - Page 5

Shutterstock

First, let’s eliminate some of the panic around the word “smothered.” You have likely felt smothered by plenty of people who you absolutely adored and wanted to keep in your life, like your mother or your best friend. If you spend lots of time with someone, you’re bound to feel smothered by them at some point. Just think of that month-long backpacking trip you took with your BFF after college—at one of those hostels, you thought you might abandon your girl at a bus stop. And then, after some space, you can’t believe you ever wanted to be apart! So it’s no surprise that, if you live with your partner, or spend every day with him, one or both of you will feel smothered at times. The important thing is noticing when that’s happening so you can back off, and he can start missing you again. Here are 15 subtle signs he’s feeling smothered.

Corbis

He eats before coming home

He used to wait for you to eat dinner, or text you during the day to coordinate it. Now he shows up saying he’s already eaten. He may just want to carve out some alone time for himself while you eat.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

He doesn’t ask you to come on jogs/workouts

He used always to ask if you wanted to join when he went to work out. Now, he just yells, “I’m going for a run” as he walks out the door. His exercise might be his sanctuary.

He spends more time at the gym

There is an unspoken rule that you don’t ask someone how long they’ll be at the gym. Your partner might take advantage of that rule and spend more time at the gym to be alone.

Shutterstock

He plans a trip without you

He only has so many vacation days, and so much vacation fund; if he’s decided to spend it on a weekend with the boys instead of with you, he may be feeling smothered.

Image Source: Shutterstock

He asks where such-and-such friend has been

He’s been asking a lot about your friends—where they’ve been, how they’re doing, what they’re up to, or when you’ll see them next…

Image Source: Shutterstock

He locks the door when he showers

He doesn’t want you wandering into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet and chatting with him while he showers. The shower is his time for peace and quiet now.

Shutterstock

He’s taking a little longer to reply to texts

He still replies, of course, because he’s your boyfriend! But this might be his subtle way of saying, “I’m not going to be available to you every minute and you need to get used to that.”

Image Source: Shutterstock

He spends more time on his laptop

Here’s another unspoken rule; if someone is on their laptop, they’re busy. If your partner has his laptop open a lot now, he may be trying to escape chit chat for a little while.

He doesn’t go to bed at the same time as you

Just like he no longer schedules meals with you, he doesn’t schedule bed time. He no longer takes note when you start getting ready for bed and does the same. He goes to bed when he’s good and ready.

Image Source: Shutterstock

He sits out on errand runs

It used to be that every time you went to the grocery store, he went with you. It was a ritual you had together. Now, when you say, “I’m going to the store; want to come?” he says, “No I’m good.” No explanation offered.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Or he runs errands solo that you used to run together

Maybe he doesn’t sit out errands, but he comes home and says he’s already run them. Without you.

Shutterstock

He hangs out in a different room a lot

This one isn’t so subtle but a lot of people fail to notice it. Your boyfriend didn’t randomly select a room. He either chose to carry out his activities in the same room as you, or he didn’t. It was no accident either way.

Corbis

He has taken up reading

Laptops and books: two things that a person can hold and be left entirely alone with. If he never touched a book when you started dating but is suddenly tearing through the library, he may be feeling smothered.

He goes on lots of walks

It’s very rare that someone goes on a walk because they feel perfectly content in their home. People go for walks because they need room to breathe—literally and figuratively.

Image Source: Shutterstock

He makes a lot of calls to old friends

He takes Sunday mornings to call old buddies and catch up over the phone. That used to be your brunch time. He knows you can’t brunch if he’s on the phone with Billy from college.

Source: Shutterstock

He seems irritable

If your partner seems irritable when you ask him things like, “What are you up to?” and “What do you feel like doing this weekend?” he may need space.

Image Source: Shutterstock

He makes plans without telling you

He used to call you and say, “Someone asked me to hang out next Friday. Was there anything special you wanted to do then, or is it cool if I go hang out with somebody else that night?” Now he just tells you—like Friday morning—that he has plans Friday night.

He invites a friend as a plus one

He doesn’t invite you as his plus one to his office party, the ball game he got free tickets to through his work, or the booze cruise is old pal is having his birthday party on. He invites a friend.

Shutterstock

You haven’t seen your friends in a while

If you haven’t seen your friends in a while, and your friends have been calling asking where you’ve been, you’ve probably been smothering your boyfriend.