20 Subtle Signs He’s Feeling Smothered
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First, let’s eliminate some of the panic around the word “smothered.” You have likely felt smothered by plenty of people who you absolutely adored and wanted to keep in your life, like your mother or your best friend. If you spend lots of time with someone, you’re bound to feel smothered by them at some point. Just think of that month-long backpacking trip you took with your BFF after college—at one of those hostels, you thought you might abandon your girl at a bus stop. And then, after some space, you can’t believe you ever wanted to be apart! So it’s no surprise that, if you live with your partner, or spend every day with him, one or both of you will feel smothered at times. The important thing is noticing when that’s happening so you can back off, and he can start missing you again. Here are 15 subtle signs he’s feeling smothered.
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He eats before coming home
He used to wait for you to eat dinner, or text you during the day to coordinate it. Now he shows up saying he’s already eaten. He may just want to carve out some alone time for himself while you eat.
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Image Source: Shutterstock.com
He doesn’t ask you to come on jogs/workouts
He used always to ask if you wanted to join when he went to work out. Now, he just yells, “I’m going for a run” as he walks out the door. His exercise might be his sanctuary.
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He doesn’t want to pick a movie together
He doesn’t want to go through the battle of picking out a movie that you both want to see. Instead, he says, “Why don’t you watch what you want to watch and I’ll watch what I want to watch?”
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He plans a trip without you
He only has so many vacation days, and so much vacation fund; if he’s decided to spend it on a weekend with the boys instead of with you, he may be feeling smothered.
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He asks where such-and-such friend has been
He’s been asking a lot about your friends—where they’ve been, how they’re doing, what they’re up to, or when you’ll see them next…
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He locks the door when he showers
He doesn’t want you wandering into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet and chatting with him while he showers. The shower is his time for peace and quiet now.
- Simone Biles Accepts The 2025 TIME100 Impact Award For Mental Health Advocacy
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He’s taking a little longer to reply to texts
He still replies, of course, because he’s your boyfriend! But this might be his subtle way of saying, “I’m not going to be available to you every minute and you need to get used to that.”
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Image Source: Shutterstock
He spends more time on his laptop
Here’s another unspoken rule; if someone is on their laptop, they’re busy. If your partner has his laptop open a lot now, he may be trying to escape chit chat for a little while.
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Image Source: Shutterstock
He sits out on errand runs
It used to be that every time you went to the grocery store, he went with you. It was a ritual you had together. Now, when you say, “I’m going to the store; want to come?” he says, “No I’m good.” No explanation offered.
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Image Source: Shutterstock.com
Or he runs errands solo that you used to run together
Maybe he doesn’t sit out errands, but he comes home and says he’s already run them. Without you.
- Simone Biles Accepts The 2025 TIME100 Impact Award For Mental Health Advocacy
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He hangs out in a different room a lot
This one isn’t so subtle but a lot of people fail to notice it. Your boyfriend didn’t randomly select a room. He either chose to carry out his activities in the same room as you, or he didn’t. It was no accident either way.
- Simone Biles Accepts The 2025 TIME100 Impact Award For Mental Health Advocacy
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He has taken up reading
Laptops and books: two things that a person can hold and be left entirely alone with. If he never touched a book when you started dating but is suddenly tearing through the library, he may be feeling smothered.
- Simone Biles Accepts The 2025 TIME100 Impact Award For Mental Health Advocacy
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- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
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Image Source: Shutterstock
He makes a lot of calls to old friends
He takes Sunday mornings to call old buddies and catch up over the phone. That used to be your brunch time. He knows you can’t brunch if he’s on the phone with Billy from college.
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He seems irritable
If your partner seems irritable when you ask him things like, “What are you up to?” and “What do you feel like doing this weekend?” he may need space.
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Image Source: Shutterstock
He makes plans without telling you
He used to call you and say, “Someone asked me to hang out next Friday. Was there anything special you wanted to do then, or is it cool if I go hang out with somebody else that night?” Now he just tells you—like Friday morning—that he has plans Friday night.
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You haven’t seen your friends in a while
If you haven’t seen your friends in a while, and your friends have been calling asking where you’ve been, you’ve probably been smothering your boyfriend.
- Simone Biles Accepts The 2025 TIME100 Impact Award For Mental Health Advocacy
- Why Women Get The ‘Ick’ More Than Men — It Might Just Prolong Their Lives
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