Can You Really Talk To Your Partner About Anything? - Page 14
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Over the years I’ve seen therapists here and there, and one of the first questions they always ask me is, “Are you in a relationship?” If my answer was yes, then their follow-up question has always been, “Do you feel that you can talk to your partner about anything if you need to?” (I think part of the reason they ask this is to make sure you have somebody at home to pick up the slack in between your therapy appointments or when your therapist can’t answer her phone). I have always answered yes, but looking back I realize, I really couldn’t talk to all my partners about anything.
When you finally meet that person that you can be open with, you realize just how much you were holding back from partners in the past. And being able to talk to your partner about anything is critical, not just for the happiness of the couple, but for your own mental and even physical health. So can you actually talk to your partner about anything? Let’s see.
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You can tell him about your past mistakes
You know that he understands who you are enough to hear about your mistakes. If you cheated in a past relationship, if you have a DUI, or if you stole from someone in the past, he knows that’s not who you are anymore, and these stories don’t scare him. In fact, he’s proud that you own your past.
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You’re not terrified when your period is approaching
When you can’t really talk to a partner, your period is a scary time. Why? Because it’s a time you really can’t control what you say!
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You can tell him when you’re proud of yourself
You don’t need to play the humble or modest game when you get a promotion. You know your partner knows you’re gracious, so you can say to him, “I totally crushed that! I’m the best!”
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You can cry during a movie. Like really go for it
You don’t need to do that sniffle-sniffle bulls*&t. You go for it. You ball. The other movie goers turn around and stare at you. But your boyfriend doesn’t think you’re unstable; he thinks it’s cute.
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You can also cry out of nowhere
We all cry out of nowhere sometimes. But when you’re in a bad relationship, you take those cries to the bathroom with some makeup so you can clean yourself up and pretend it didn’t happen. With the right partner, you can just burst out into tears at the grocery store, and he’ll give customers death stares for looking at you.
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And it doesn’t ruin your night
When you cry out of nowhere, it doesn’t ruin the night. He talks it out with you, and then you two move on with your night, laughing and having fun. He doesn’t get in some weird, frightened state, making you feel bad for your emotions.
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You can tell him when he’s a moron
You can tell him when he’s screwed up. You know that he loves you enough to trust your opinion, and reflect on his behavior when you tell him he’s a moron.
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You feel better after having a meltdown in front of him
You actually feel cleansed after having a good cry session in front of your partner. He gives out completely loving, supportive and understanding vibes. He doesn’t make you feel guilty for your feelings, ever.
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You can tell him if you’ve been abused
Whether you’ve suffered physical or emotional abuse in the past, you can open up to your partner about it. You know he won’t run for fear of your baggage.
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You can tell him things you’re not proud of
We’re all cowards sometimes. If you failed to visit your grandparent in the hospital before he passed because you were too “busy,” you can tell your partner. He knows you’re human. He’s glad you got it off your chest.
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You can ask him to be extra sensitive one day
If you feel like the tiniest weird look will make you fall apart one day, you just tell your partner. You can ask him, “Can you just be really sensitive to me today?” and he won’t give you some lecture on how he shouldn’t have to do that. He just does it.
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If you have a problem with one of his friends…
Your partner understands you so well now that you can take issue with one of his best friends, and he won’t ostracize you or become angry. He knows you must have some valid point because he knows you’re fair and reasonable.
