15 Private Items You Can Buy On Amazon

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There are some items are just embarrassing to buy in a physical store. There are some purchases that, just by holding them in your arms, tell complete strangers a lot about your life. Then there’s the risk of running into someone who isn’t a complete stranger—someone like a friend or your boss—while you’re buying ribbed condoms for her pleasure. But what are you going to do? Drive to a store in another town every time you need these basic items? If you were rich, you could just send your personal assistant to pick these things up. But even then, your assistant knows all about your business. Luckily, a lot of these sensitive items can be purchased on Amazon. Unluckily, not a lot of people know that! And they subject themselves to stares on a weekly basis at the local pharmacy when they pick up fiber capsules. Stop the humiliation. Here are 15 private items you can buy on Amazon.

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Pregnancy test

No more elderly ladies judgmentally staring at your empty wedding ring finger when you grab a pregnancy test. You can sit in the comfort of your home, with your anxiety, until the test arrives at your door and gives you your results.

Plan B

Plan B emergency contraceptive is available on Amazon. This is somewhat of a miracle since, most women who need it, are too wracked with fear to drive themselves to a pharmacy, stand in line, and speak to a pharmacist. Naturally, the pill being available on Amazon has stirred up some controversy.

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Condoms

That’s the end of the sales person giving you that gross, “Somebody’s getting some tonight” look. And it’s the end of creepy men at the pharmacy asking if you’d like to use your purchase on them. Yuck.

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A scale

Women can receive some judgmental looks for buying a scale. If a woman is overweight and buying a scale, she can feel like strangers are watching her journey to weight loss. If a woman is not overweight and buying a scale, other women look at her like she’s too concerned with her body.

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Herp-b-gone

More than ninety percent of adults in America have been exposed to Herpes 1, and yet, people give you nasty looks for purchasing treatment for a cold sore. Please. They just hide in their houses when they have theirs. And now you can too!

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A vibrating shower head

Enough with asking the employee at Bed Bath and Beyond, “But exactly how much pressure can this apply?” You can simply read reviews on Amazon. There are women on there who aren’t shy to share their intimate experiences with a shower head.

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Vibrator

Vibrators and dildos of every shape, color, size and brand are on Amazon. So you don’t have to go to a sex shop, wearing a giant hat and sunglasses in case anybody sees you.

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Lubricant

Not only is there lubricant on Amazon, there are far more choices than you’ll find in a regular store. There is edible lubricant, vegan lubricant, gluten-free lubricant and every flavor you can imagine.

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Laxatives

The way the world works is that every time you go to the store to buy a laxative, you see a guy you swear would be the love of your life. But you’re not going to talk to him because you’re buying laxatives. Problem solved. Buy laxatives online, and sexy stuff like…hairbrushes?…at stores where cute guys hang out.

Hemorrhoidal cream

Everybody gets them; nobody wants to talk about them. Oh wait, you know who wants to talk about them? Men in their 70s who use hemorrhoidal cream all of the time and have no qualms with comparing notes with their fellow purchaser. Sir, please stop talking to me about this.

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Fleshlight

If you’re looking for a little gift for your honey to keep him, er, busy while you travel, you can get him a fleshlight online. You don’t need to be the woman in the sex shop buying a fleshlight, receiving confused looks.

Handcuffs

There aren’t many places other than sex shops, pawn shops, and survival gear shops where you can purchase accessories. And, well, you just don’t want to go in any of those when you’re just trying to spice things up in the bedroom a little. Amazon has you covered.

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STD test

For some, the experience of going to a clinic, filling out a chart and speaking to a doctor is anxiety-inducing. Luckily there are STD tests—including HIV tests—available online, that you can use in the comfort of your living room.

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Monistat

Picking up Monistat at the pharmacy—that’s the other time you’ll run into the man of your dreams. But you have a sign on your forehead that says, “I have a yeast infection right now.” Just order Monistat to your front door.

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Hair loss products

Plenty of women deal with hair loss, but you don’t want to purchase hair regrowth products in public, and you don’t have to.