15 Funny/Frustrating Emotions Only Women Understand - Page 9

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Men, there are probably times when you just cannot decode your girlfriend, wife, or a woman with whom you are close. You cannot pin point the exact emotion she is going through, nor does it seem like her emotions make sense for that moment. There are probably times when she walks the line between furious and elated, and you didn’t even know such a line existed. That’s because there are some experiences and emotions only women can understand. Honestly, we’re constantly battling the desire to be both sweet and assertive. We’re also battling hormones. We’re also fighting with a need to align ourselves with feminism, but to also really want some things that are so-not-feminist-approved. So yeah—it’s pretty common that one emotion is quickly followed by another totally unrelated one. Here are 15 emotions only women understand.

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The desire to kill a cat caller

Being cat called feels like being…emotionally assaulted? Thrown on a cat walk, you didn’t mean to walk on? Held up to standards you didn’t ask to be held up to? GRRRR all of those things. Cat calls are like the hit and run of verbal assaults. The woman is left feeling frightened, and there’s nothing she can do about it. Cat callers are the lowest wrung of human and, honestly, every woman has imagined the ways she’d kill a cat caller before.

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Feeling proud and angry about concealing jealousy

Men you don’t get it. It takes so much self-control to just behave “chill” when we are jealous of that one female friend who loves to text you at 2 am. And…AND…we don’t even ask for a pat on the back for it. But we deserve one. So we’re proud of ourselves and mad at you for not giving us more credit, damn it. We’re also frustrated with ourselves for wanting credit for something we are just supposed to do. It’s the worst.

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The need to yell at a man—just a little

Sometimes, we kinda just need to yell at a man. Even if you, our partner, has not oppressed us in any way, we come from the blood of centuries of women who were spoken down to, ignored and oppressed. And sometimes, that blood boils up just a little.

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Feeling proud and angry about a salad

First, we feel so proud of ourselves for ordering the salad or the fish instead of the burger. Then, we feel angry that something so stupid should make use feel proud. Eventually, we’re pretty sad that something as minute as a meal could elicit so many emotions.

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Being mad at someone for eating a salad

“Oh—you think you’re better than me because you have a salad. I know you want a burger. Don’t pretend you want that salad. Don’t you DARE sit there and pretend you want that stupid salad!!!”

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Just a general, “I let him be inside of me?”

Every once in a while, it occurs to us that sex is pretty weird. And we go, “Damn. I let that human put his dick inside of me? Hm. Okay. I guess.”

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Housewife guilt

We’re on-the-sly judgmental of women who do not work for a living and count on a man. We also on-the-sly want that exact lifestyle. Then we get mad at ourselves for being judgmental of that woman—who are we to choose her path?! And we’re mad at ourselves for kind of wanting that lifestyle…ugh.

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Bathroom line fury

For some reason, when a woman cuts another woman in line for the bathroom, she can unleash a wrath as if she had stolen that woman’s firstborn child.

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Fear of being curvy

We look at women with curves and go, “She looks amazing. I want that.” But then, when we dare to give up our strict diet and wear a tight, curve-hugging dress, we feel out of control and insecure.

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Wanting a handicap sign on period days

Menstruating women should not be made to drive through pharmacy parking lots looking for parking. That’s a recipe for disaster.

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Wanting sick days for period days

We really should get sick days for our periods. The best way I can explain it to men is this: what if you were forced to work during the hangover that came after your best friend’s bachelor party (you know that’s a bad one) and on the same day your dog died? Those are the physical and emotional sensations we are feeling on our period…at work.

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Always being a little gay

All women are on-the-sly a little gay. Women are gorgeous—how could we not be? If we can be honest, women are just naturally softer, more sensual and more comforting than men. All straight women have day dreamed of buying a farm in the countryside and retiring with some goddess.

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Gossip high

Why does it feel so damn good to talk with your female friends about the mistakes and poor decisions of your other female friends? It sets our skin on fire in a good way.

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Gossip guilt

Then we feel guilty after gossiping. We feel a little gross. We realize we gave into a temptation that we didn’t even realize was technically a temptation.