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Fighting in a relationship is always the worst, but when you live together fights take on a whole new meaning. Now, you’re fighting with your partner and your roommate. You don’t get to retreat to your home until you’re ready to see each other again. You don’t get to blast angry music and play your typical wallowing shows on TV—the person you fought with lives with you now and might ask you to turn down your music because he’s working, or change the channel because he wants to watch something else. Typically, we crave alone time after a fight, but that can be hard to get when you live with your significant other. It’s not impossible to get, but by nature of the situation, you have to go out of your way to get it, which can make the fight feel even more serious than it really is. Here are 15 true and terrible ways fighting in a relationship changes when you live together.

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Shutterstock

Crying is awkward

When you didn’t live together, and you got in a fight, you would just go home and cry. Problem solved. But now you have to cry in the same place where your partner is, and he hears you in the other room crying. If he doesn’t console you he’s a jerk but if he does, he’s not really making his point (whatever his point was). It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You still have to say “Hi” and “Bye” a lot

Even if you’re still deep in the throws of the fight, you still have to say, “Hi” and “Bye” as you go in and out of the house, leading your lives. You still have errands to run and jobs to go to. But it feels weird greeting somebody you’re in a fight with.

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You still have to talk logistics

It doesn’t matter how much you two can’t stand each other right now, you still have to calculate utility bills and speak to the landlord who has dropped by to look at your broken toilet. Do you know how strange it is to be really pissed at somebody but also have to ask, “So when did you notice the toilet making a weird noise?”