Thigh Gaps And Other Body “Issues” Men Don’t Care About - Page 13

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Most of the “problems” women spend thousands of dollars and hours fixing so that men will find them attractive men don’t even notice. It’s funny because, when you think of male body types you like, you probably don’t think about things like pectoral shape or hamstring definition. We know that the things men obsess over in their own bodies aren’t important to women, but we can’t seem to grasp the fact that the reverse is true too. We’re told over and over again that we need to shave this and tighten that, but who is telling us? Women! (Or gay men, if we’re honest). At the end of the day, it’s a shame we put so much energy into these body “issues” because nobody notices them but us.

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The thigh gap

The thigh gap is an entirely female-created thing. Okay, well, we didn’t create it, but we’re the only ones who care about it. Men do not notice whether or not your thighs touch.

Skinny arms

Speaking of gaps, men also do not care whatsoever if there is a space between your inner arm and the side of your body when your arms are down. So the skinny arm trick we all do in photos—that’s just for us.

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Jiggly arms

On the topic of arms, men do not notice if your arms jiggle when you move. That’s a pretty normal thing that happens when gravity + skin meets movement.

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Going out sans makeup

“Everybody knows I’m not wearing makeup EVERYBODY KNOWS!” Nobody knows. And especially not men. Men only notice when women wear too much makeup.

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Saggy boob

A) You have a push-up bra that fixes everything and B) By the time a man sees your boobs naked, it’s because he’s about to get laid, so he certainly isn’t being critical. He’s just excited about boobs.

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Small boobs

See the previous statement about boobs. It all applies.

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A small butt

Men notice big butts, but they don’t notice small butts. They don’t notice the absence of something. I promise you no man has ever described a woman as, “The one with the small butt.”

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The collarbone

Men could not care less if you have a protruding collar bone. They don’t cast the models on the cover of Vogue, and they’re not in a portrait painting class in the Victorian era. Your collar bone is a moot point to men.

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Arm hair

You can stop burning your skin by waxing off your arm hair—men do not notice it one way or another.

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A perfectly tight vagina

If you’ve recently had children, this might be a concern, but most women have vaginas that most men would be very happy to have access to. If a man is having sex with you, he’s happy: I guarantee it.

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Tan lines

Men don’t care about this. They don’t even see this. If you laid out in the sun and now have a butt four shades lighter than the rest of you, a guy isn’t thinking that—he is thinking, “Naked butt! YES!”

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Stretch marks

Men pretty much feel the way about these as they do about cellulite. When a man is into you, to him, your body is pure gold. He isn’t going to be picky about pure gold.

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Thin legs

Men notice overall size—they can identify a skinny woman or a larger one—but they don’t pick up on nuances like thin legs.

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Backne/Chest acne

Go ahead and wear your halter top or your deep-plunging, cleavage-showing blouse—men do not notice acne on these areas.