20 Traits That Make Men Think They Can Walk All Over You - Page 16

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Do you constantly attract men who take advantage of you? Do a lot of your dates end with you paying because your date couldn’t really afford another drink but he ordered one anyway. Maybe you spend most of your dates listening to guys who talk about themselves the entire time and never ask you about yourself. If any of this sounds familiar, you might be putting out the vibe that people can walk all over you. Don’t try to change this by becoming selfish and self-serving—the fact that you are sweet, a good listener and generous is part of what makes you wonderful! But, it’s important to strike a balance between being sweet and assertive. To do that, you’ll have to become aware of and address some of these traits that tell men they can walk all over you.

Your friends walk all over you

If a guy sees that your friends walk all over you, he can pretty much determine that he can do the same thing. If he notices that you don’t draw boundaries in your other relationships and often take on responsibilities that you shouldn’t have to, he might treat you like a doormat.

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You’re uncomfortable with compliments

When a guy pays you a compliment, you shoot back with three negative things about yourself. At the very least, you turn the attention on him and won’t take two seconds to take in what he’s saying.

You say sorry a lot

The word “Sorry” comes out of your mouth almost once a sentence. If a man spills his drink on you, you say, “Sorry.” Why are you saying sorry?

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You criticize yourself a lot

If you make a mistake, you are very hard on yourself. You know that other people are only human; you are fine when other people make a mistake, but when you make one, you kick yourself for days.

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You give envy-compliments a lot

Any time you give somebody a compliment, you finish it with, “I wish I had that quality” or you just criticize yourself immediately. You’re so insecure that it makes you sad to recognize positive things about other people.

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You’ll change your plans for them

You’ll change plans that you were really looking forward to because a guy convinces you to. You’ll skip doing something you really wanted to do to perform a favor for somebody else.

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You’ll take calls at bad times

You have one friend who calls you every time she has a freak out (usually over the same thing—like the toxic relationship you told her to leave). And you always take her call—even if it’s at 3 in the morning and you have to get up at 6.

You’re easily persuaded

You don’t really have the courage of your convictions. People will get you to change your mind about something you previously felt pretty strongly about. You’re easily persuaded to do things you know you won’t enjoy.

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You make excuses for your opinions

When you assert your opinions, you don’t really assert them. In fact, you follow each opinion with ten reasons why you could see how other people won’t agree with you. Essentially, you argue with yourself.

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A lot of people owe you money

You don’t know how to say no to people, so a lot of people who are notoriously financially irresponsible owe you money. You can’t just reject somebody’s request for money.

You don’t get mad if somebody is late

A date can be disgustingly late—like an hour and a half late—and you won’t get mad. Maybe they even make you late for something else with their lateness, and you still don’t get mad. Come on—you should get a little mad.

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You have a job you don’t love

People who stay in jobs where they’re miserable are often pushovers. They don’t believe in themselves enough to break out of their situation.

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You give a lot of excuses when you say, “No.”

On the rare occasion that you say no to someone, you give a lot of excuses. You’re extremely apologetic about saying no to taking them to the airport or taking their phone call at 3 in the morning. In fact, you end up offering to make it up to them, even though you never owed it to them in the first place.

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You make excuses for other people

If someone wrongs you, before they even begin apologizing, you make excuses for them. You offer them reasons that they might be late like the traffic or a broken clock.

You assume people are about to say something mean

When someone simply says your name, you say, “What did I do wrong? Am I chewing too loud? Am I sitting too close? Do you not like the bar I chose?” You’re so self-critical that you anticipate criticism.

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You say yes to favors without knowing what they are

When someone asks, “Will you do me a favor?” you say, “Yes” before asking what it is. You even do this for complete strangers.

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You don’t know how you like to spend alone time

If somebody told you that you could do anything you wanted for a day—anything at all—you wouldn’t know what to do. You dedicate so much of your time to other people’s needs that you don’t even know what you like to do.

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You’re always the designated driver

You’re somehow always the designated driver. Maybe it’s because you always offer to be, and your friends haven’t finished giving a half-hearted, “Oh you shouldn’t…” before you’ve bought everybody else a round of shots.

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You have some friends who are a sh-tshow

You have a lot of friends who are total messes. They always need to sleep on your couch because they can’t afford rent or are in a fight with their boyfriends. You’re the only person who would keep them on as friends, so you have a dozen of these friends.