Runaway Groom: Why Men Leave After Proposing
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You’ve probably heard a lot of stories of grooms who bolt right before the wedding–sometimes when they’re already standing in the ceremony, waiting for their bride to talk down the isle. When you hear these stories you probably think, “Why did that guy choose this time of all times to leave? Once hundreds of guests are seated and thousands of dollars have been spent?” It’s actually not really a coincidence or just bad timing when a groom takes off days or moments before the wedding–it’s because the wedding is getting closer that certain issues arise. There are some problems that only come up, or secrets that only come out of the woodwork, once an engagement has been announced. In fact, wedding planning can be one of the most stressful experiences a couple ever has together. So, here are 15 reasons a groom bolts right before the wedding.
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He proposed because she’s pregnant
A lot of men propose when they discover that their girlfriend is pregnant, but they may not have actually been in love with her, or known her very well. Eventually, reality sets in that it would be better for this kid to have two single, separate but happy parents, than unhappily married ones, and he calls it off.
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He proposed because he cheated
Unfortunately, sometimes men propose because they cheated. Maybe their partner found out, and they’re trying to prove their loyalty this way. Sometimes the partner doesn’t even know, and the guy just thinks he can hide it forever, and better lock his partner down before she discovers his mistake. Either way, he usually realizes that the very fact that he cheated means this woman wasn’t right for him.
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He proposed out of fear of losing her
Some men propose because they have a feeling their girlfriend isn’t as into them as they are into her. They propose as a way of locking a woman down before she realizes this is the wrong man. But, as the wedding gets closer, they start to realize that, if this woman isn’t really in love with them, the relationship can either end before the marriage as a breakup, or later as a divorce, but either way, it’s going to end.
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He’s worried he can’t provide
After a man proposes, certain realities sink in–like the fact that if he doesn’t make enough money, that could affect both him and his spouse. This is more pressure than some men can handle.
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The wedding is all about her
Tragically, some brides make the wedding all about themselves. They don’t ask their partner how they feel about anything and become incredibly bossy. It’s a peek into married life, and some men don’t like the view.
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Wedding planning brings out true colors
As stated before, wedding planning is stressful, and when people are stressed, their true colors come out. One person might take to drinking heavily; one person might take to yelling a lot–both people might realize they don’t want to live forever with somebody who responds so poorly to stress.
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She won’t sign the prenup
Everything can be just fine until the prenup comes out. That’s when a man might find out a woman isn’t willing to sign it, and that’s when he might find out she was with him for his money.
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She insists on a prenup
On the flip side, sometimes it’s the woman who has a lot of money and wants the man to sign a prenup to protect herself. Some men take offense to this as if the woman is insinuating they’re after her money.
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She wants to quit her job after marriage
After a guy puts a ring on it, his bride-to-be might casually drop into conversation that she will be quitting her job post-wedding. Then the groom-to-be realizes they have a totally different life in mind.
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Secrets come out on her end
You know that part of the ceremony when the officiator says, “If anyone knows any reason this couple should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace?” Some people speak way, way before that. When an engagement is announced, sometimes friends of the bride step forward to confess things about her like an abortion she hid from her partner, or a time that she cheated.
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Their friends talk them out of it
Here’s another thing that will come out after you’re engaged: how your friends really feel about your partner. If a man’s friends never approved of his girlfriend, they’ll speak up when he proposes to her–and he might hear reason in their words.
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She’s flippant with money
If a man sees that, during the wedding planning, his fiance is flippant with money, doesn’t seem to care how much things cost and isn’t respectful of how she spends other people’s money, he won’t want to marry her.
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They meet more of her family
After the proposal comes engagement parties, bridal showers and so on. This means lots of friends and family come to town, and this means the groom gets to see a whole new side of his bride that he never saw before. He may not like it.
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Another woman comes forward
The last thing that can come out of the woodwork after a proposal is another interested woman. If one woman has been harboring feelings for a man for years and finds out he’s engaged to somebody else, she might step forward and admit her feelings. And he might reciprocate those feelings.
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