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Movies like “The Hangover” don’t exactly make women feel at ease when their boyfriends or husbands go off to have guy’s night. We usually have to host a girl’s night, just to justify all of the wine we are going to have to drink to distract ourselves from the gross stuff that we assume is happening at guy’s night. But here’s a secret: it’s never even half that bad. It’s just important to men that we think things get out of hand. Something about holding onto their youth and not being held down or something. Men slow down like the rest of us. After college, most of them cannot handle the types of antics you see in notorious films about guys night. You really have nothing to worry about—but just act worried, so he feels cool. Here’s what you think happens at guys night versus what really happens.

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Shutterstock

They talk about their feelings

When men get drunk, one of them will say something like, “Who are you texting? Your looover? Your wifey?” And then they’ll all laugh, and the texting guy will say, “Yeah. Dude. I like, really love her. I’m done for. I find myself thinking about things like naming our children. You can make fun of me.” And his friends are like, “No man. She’s a good woman. We’re happy for you.” And then somebody brings out a beer bong to break the moment, which has gotten too real.

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Shutterstock

What really happens

They don’t want to get arrested! None of them had that much money to put into this weekend getaway anyways—they are sure as hell not blowing it over a little indecent exposure. They do pee anywhere and everywhere, though. They probably use the toilet one out of every ten pees. They pee in potted plants, in sinks (yes, gross, we know) and out the window. They love this for some reason.

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Shutterstock

They make the most obscene food combos

Please. They don’t know how to shoot at anything! Or de-gut a squirrel! They do, however, get a huge kick out of making the most disgusting food combinations all weekend, like burritos stuffed with pickles and shoved inside of a rolled up pizza. But yeah—it’s all from the frozen foods section of the grocery store.

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Shutterstock

What really happens

You may not think that your guy would order a prostitute, but maybe his friends—right? He probably doesn’t hang out with total monsters who would be willing to ruin their relationships and marriages over paid-for sex. If one wild card does hire a professional, everybody else yells at him and tells him they need to get a separate room.

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Image Source: Shutterstock.com

What really happens

The aforementioned wild card might bring some drugs. And if he gets any interest, there will be precautionary talks like, “Will somebody just make sure I don’t puke on myself or misplace my wallet? Did we get enough Gatorade? Can we request a late checkout because I’ll need more sleep.” Their bodies aren’t what they used to be.