Maybe your beau is struggling to find a job in this terrible economy. Or perhaps he’s on a fixed income due to graduate school or helping out family members or some sort of bad investment. Either way…he’s broke. Can you handle it? If you truly care about him, not just about being wined and dined, then a period of financial struggle shouldn’t be a death knell to your relationship. Now, if you two pay bills together or share an apartment, that’s gonna be a bit more complicated. But if both parties are committed, communicative and responsible, you can make it work. Check out our tips for dating a man who’s down on his luck.
1)Be Supportive, Not Motherly: Your honey’s probably feeling bad about his lack of dough and maybe even a bit embarrassed. Don’t make it worse by constantly bringing it up, even if you’re trying to be encouraging. Don’t put all his financial burdens on your back either, unless you’ve been together long enough to justify such AND can rightly say he would do the same for you. You may casually mention gig or job opportunities and forward over emails that have positions that he may be looking for, but don’t turn into his mom.
2) Come Up With Creative Dates: Some guys are inclined to keep dropping money on taking you out even when they can’t afford it because of pride or fear of letting you down. Suggest fun things for the two of you to do that don’t cost a ton of dough: outdoor concerts, happy hours, nature hikes, etc. Don’t say “I got something cheap we can do”, but just mention the low-budget event as something you’d enjoy doing together.
3) Don’t Go Silent: If you are sharing a family plan on your cell phone or paying rent together, you need to discuss plans for getting these bills paid. Don’t just assume he’s got it together, but don’t feel all the financial responsibility is on your shoulders now either. If you two agreed to stand by each other during good times and bad, this is the test of that committment. Step up and make it happen.
4)Plan Events Accordingly: If a group dinner at an expensive restaurant or drinks at a fancy club with your crew is gonna make him feel uncomfortable, then roll without him (“It’s girls night!) or skip the outing all together. You’d want him to be mindful about taking you somewhere that would cause you to be a little awkward, show him the same courtesy.
5) Watch What You Say: An argument is not your time to take shots at him for struggling or to make him feel low just because you are angry. And please don’t get caught saying something as callous as “I’d love to go to _____ this weekend, but it’s probably too expensive for you.” The way you behave during this time-both of you-says a lot about your character. Constantly mentioning things you’d like to do if only he had the cash is a real good way of saying “I’m a jerk and I’m not ready for a relationship.” If you don’t care about him enough to see past this situation, then you probably just aren’t that in to him anyway.
