If I were a gynecologist with my own practice, I’d have peach bellinis greeting my patients at the door and Marsha Ambrosius playing sweetly in the background among scented candles. My medical staff would be a nice mixture of Jason Momoa look-a-likes to rub patients’ feet and help them into their hospital gowns, with Tasha Smith personalities to help answer the tough questions about sex. Then maybe, just maybe, women would feel more comfortable dishing about who they had sex with, when they had sex with them and what kind of sex they had at their annual gynecological exam.
Instead, most women at the least feel a little bit of anxiety for an exam that only takes about ten minutes out of every year of their lives. For every woman, once a year she gets to feel like her sex life is being put on trial as she sits freezing in a tissue paper gown checking off the type of sexual activities she’s engaged in, and tries to recall the number of sexual partners she’s had not just in the last year, but in her whole life.
Why exactly does the doctor need to know when you lost your virginity? Those personal questions aren’t being asked of you to give the medical staff a good laugh at lunch, but to address your individual needs and assess the type of treatment you need, especially if you have some apprehension about asking questions to a total stranger about what occurs in your bathroom and bedroom. Take a look at the common questions your gyno will ask about what happens below your belt and why he/she needs to know:
1. Questions about your medical history as well as family’s (e.g. What medications are you presently taking? Is there a history of high blood pressure in your family?)
Some medications and medical conditions just don’t mix. Your gynecologist may be aware of complications that can occur if you are taking certain medications prescribed by another doctor. For example, certain antibiotics can slightly impact the effectiveness of some contraceptives, so it’s important to inform your doctor of any medication you are taking so that they can suggest other methods that will help you prevent unintended pregnancy. You might be thinking that the Motrin you take for those weekly headaches you get is not worth mentioning, but when in doubt, let it out. By making your doctor aware of the medical conditions that affect both you and your family, he/ she can better determine the type of contraception you need and other resources to suggest that will keep you healthy.
2. How many drinks do you have per week? Do you smoke or use nicotine?
Certain questions allow your doctor to make a medical map of your specific situation. By piecing together info like the date of your last period, date of last sexual intercourse and your regular alcohol intake, a doctor can determine if you’re possibly pregnant and if they need to monitor that pregnancy for any complications. You may not even be aware that you could be pregnant until a doctor helps you put all the pieces together. They might also be able to refer you to support if they suspect you are struggling with alcohol or nicotine abuse.
3. Have you ever been forced to have sex? Has your partner ever physically or verbally threatened or hurt you?
When a woman is a victim of sexual assault, she might be too traumatized, scared or confused to come forward and tell someone. Sometimes writing it down is the best way for a victim of sexual assault to communicate that they need to talk to someone about what they’ve experienced. Other women may be confused about if they’ve ever experienced sexual assault or physical or verbal abuse, so this question may allow them to briefly analyze unhealthy behaviors in their relationship and seek further support from a professional.
4. Are you sexually active? If so, check all that apply (Vaginal, Anal, Oral, Sex Toys). When is the last time you were sexually active?
Certain sexual behaviors place you at more risk for contracting an STI or becoming pregnant than others. Anal sex is especially risky, since it often causes bleeding and the transfer of additional bodily fluids. By giving your doctor a complete picture of your sexual behavior, he/she will be better able to provide you with information that will be more specific to your sexual behavior such as the
proper way to sanitize sex toys and the importance of using lubrication during anal sex. By knowing the last date of sexual intercourse you were involved in, your doctor can also link any symptoms you are experiencing to determine if you need to be tested for pregnancy or STI’s.
5. Have you or your partner had more than one sexual partner in the past 3 months? How many partners have you had in the past 12 months?
The more sexual partners you or your partner has, the more likely it is that you’ve been exposed to an STI. This is another question that will help your doctor determine if testing for an STI is a priority.
6. What type of birth control method do you use? When is the last time you had sex without using a birth control method?
The more information that you provide to your gyno, the better able he/she is to take a complete look at your lifestyle and suggest birth control methods that are more convenient for you. For example, if you don’t plan on having kids for several years, then maybe it would be better for you to invest in an IUD rather than taking a pill every day. Also, if you recently had unprotected sex and are worried that you are pregnant, your gyno may be able to prescribe emergency contraception that is effective up to 120 hours after unprotected sexual intercourse.
7. When was the first day of your last normal period? What age did your first period start and how regular is your cycle?
If you don’t chart your cycle, there’s no better time to start then now. If your cycle is pretty regular, armed with additional information, your doctor may be able to determine how likely it is that you are pregnant and the date of conception. If you’re experiencing irregular periods or painful cramps, your doctor may be able to prescribe something to alleviate your situation.
8. Have you ever been pregnant? If so, how many of those pregnancies resulted in live births? Do you hope to have future pregnancies?
Most doctors can’t spot a woman who has been pregnant before with the naked eye, especially if she didn’t carry that pregnancy to term. But being aware of past abortions and live births can help a doctor to determine if your cervix has ever been dilated, since procedures like insertion of an IUD tend to be easier with women who have given birth. When a doctor is informed that you have undergone an abortion or experienced an ectopic pregnancy, they can pay special attention and look for scar tissue and other things that could interfere with fertility. If you are sure that you do not want to become pregnant in the future, a doctor can recommend permanent procedures that can eliminate the possibility of pregnancy.
9. At what age did you first have sexual intercourse?
Doctors often ask this question to make sure their patients aren’t victims of sexual assault or rape. This also gives them a good idea of how long you’ve been sexually active so they can assess your risk for STI’s, especially HPV.
The most important thing to remember during a gynecological exam is to be honest and not make assumptions. Don’t assume that because you had blood drawn or were asked for a urine sample that it is being tested for STI’s or pregnancy. If it’s not a concern for you, it’s not a concern for your doctor. If you’re going to have an honest conversation with anyone about your sexual history besides your partner, the next best person is your doctor. By providing him/her with as much accurate info as you can, you allow them to better tailor your medical experience and treatment to your needs.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this article should not be used as a substitute for diagnosis or to guide treatment without the opinion of a health professional. Any reader who is concerned about her health should contact a doctor for advice.
Toya Sharee is a community health educator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee.
