If you live in any big city, you know that public transportation is more convenient and often times, more affordable than riding around in a burdensome vehicle with a mad dependence on gas. But that doesn’t mean your buses and trains don’t bring their own inconveniences. However, a lot of the headaches and gross encounters can be prevented. Here are seven things you should avoid doing while getting around town. All these tips are for your benefit though. Whether you choose to do them or not, that’s your business, but girl, you’ve been warned.
Never Fall Asleep
This one is a tricky rule, because I know how tired you can be after putting in more than eight hours at work, whether you expected to or not. But unless you’re one of those people with an internal clock that never fails, your best bet is to keep your head up and try to stay as alert as possible. Pick up a newspaper or magazine before you hop on your car or bus so you don’t nod off or straight up pass out. If you choose not to do these things, good luck! But don’t be surprised if you end up on a side of town the total opposite of where you live or even have knowledge of. Plus, I wouldn’t recommend sleeping around strangers anyway. If you know you can’t stay awake for a ride of more than 30 or 40 minutes, if you must, put your phone on vibrate, put it in your pocket, or hell, in your bra, and have it go off a few minutes before your stop is scheduled so you can pull yourself together and get off in time. But I wouldn’t risk it…
Never Get On Without Some Form of Entertainment
I’ve seen the agony in people’s faces when there iPods have lost all their juice. It’s worse than you imagined–30 minutes stuck with your own thoughts and stresses, burdened to concentrate on the various smells of fellow passengers (don’t even get me started on the funks you get after it rains…), and to stare at advertisements and safety signs until your eyes roll into the back of your head. If you were trying to find some form of entertainment at some point to keep you awake, make sure you do the same so you can keep your sanity. Guess you should have picked up that free newspaper earlier in the day, huh? A 10-minute romp on the bus is all good, you’ll make it without having a fit if you stare at your feet or play with your hair long enough. But anything past 25 minutes??? I would probably end up on panic mode without something to distract me.
Never Sacrifice Your Safety Trying to Be Cute
If you know you aren’t tall enough or strong enough to stand on a moving hunk of metal without falling, don’t play cute. Yeah, you look kind of fly in your linen pants or your new New York & Company wrap dress and sandals, but if you don’t hold onto the first pole you see (you’re not being asked to swing from it) and brace yourself, expect to be slipping and sliding and bumping into folks who aren’t checking for you. And if you do it enough times, someone is going to give you the death stare. Hold on tight and save being cute for the streets when you do your “Sex & The City” walk, because thinking you’re too fresh to touch a pole everyone else has to can only get you hurt boo.
Never Touch Your Face On or After You Get Off Public Transportation
So we’re back to the pole. And yeah, you’ll have to grab onto it for dear life like I said, because what other choice do you have when a sistah can’t get a seat? But like I previously stated, those poles, and the buses and public transportation in general are filled with enough germs to make you want to hop into a hot shower asap! So when you get off, do yourself a favor and keep your hands down! Don’t rub your eyes on accident or on purpose, and don’t you dare eat food and forget to wash your hands before you eat it. Chances are, someone coughed a lougie into their hand and touched what you have, or someone’s child sucked their dirty thumb (and adults get caught on the train doing this too) and put their hand in the same place you did. How do you think those poles get all those fingerprints anyway? Save yourself and grab hand sanitizer, or reach a bathroom as quick as you can. If not, don’t be surprised when your throat starts closing…
NEVER Start a Conversation With a Stranger
I’m not trying to be mean when I say this. But look, how long are you really about to be on the train? If it isn’t a long time, then put those earbuds in your ear, read a book, and keep your eyes down and to yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hopped on public transportation and had someone think I just felt like talking to them and hearing their life story. Taking a bus home from school for the holidays a couple of years ago, I had an ex-convict (that’s what he told me) talk my ear off for MORE THAN AN HOUR! What could I say, he was terrifying! Keep yourself looking busy and mind your business if you can, because some people look your way, and if you lock eyes, they might get started and won’t know or won’t care about when they should stop. Letting someone know a certain stop is available is on your train is one thing, but having to sit next to a modern day Forrest Gump (but without the charm) is just straight wack! You see that stop coming up? Is that your stop? It is now…run!
Never Force Yourself in a Seat if You Can Stand
If your feet just can’t take standing anymore, then yeah girl, tell that lady who thought that open seat should be a bag holder to move it or lose it. But I definitely wouldn’t recommend squeezing in between people just because you want to see if you can. And want to make a scene if you can’t. Mostly because people will use your agreement to sit as another agreement to rest their thighs all on you, to rub their bare arms against your skin, and read your magazine with you, eyes all locked over your shoulder, with no shame while you’re sandwiched in between two overgrown adults. And they can do that, cause you made the decision to sit between them. Been there, done that, and all that extra body heat during hot weather is extremely uncomfortable. If you can stand, you might as well go ahead and do so.
Never Ever Eat on Public Transportation
I know there are times you have to do what you have to do, but I don’t understand how people feel comfortable scarfing down pasta, pizza, sub sandwiches and more when there are so many free wheeling germs around. From uncovered coughs to passed gas, girl, your food is not protected. If you must eat while you ride, don’t crack that joint wide open and eat your whole meal. Take a few bites, and preferably before you get on the train and sit down (because no one wants to smell your salami sandwich in a confined space) and finish it off later.
