Do you find yourself in countless arguments with your mate? If so, maybe you should leave that dude alone (I’m kidding). What type of man do you have? The type who you argue with and nothing seems to get through to him? You know the type, he just continuously makes the same mistakes. Or, do you have Mr. Defense Attorney, who you couldn’t win an argument with if your life depended on it? I put together a few quick tips to help you win a battle of wits with your man; if they don’t work, then chances are you really do need to drop that fool.
Logic
Hopefully your significant other bears no resemblance to today’s Republican, meaning that if you present him with a logical argument he won’t just shoot it down because he can. When going head to head with your mate, far too many arguments become overly-emotional and nothing logical gets stated. Break it down like he’s a 2-year-old without making him feel like he’s a 2-year-old. We as men can’t dispute facts, so if you play the logical route and appeal to his intelligence you should be able to come out on top.
Crying
Crying works for some men but for some of us it’s not going to fly. I don’t find crying to be a good weapon for getting your point across. Think about it, even for the men it works on, did you help move him closer to your way thinking or did he just appease you and give you what you want? If you’re just looking for a yes man and you want to get your way quickly without resolving things, go for it. But fundamentally, if we’re arguing it’s because we have a difference of opinion and it’s about something serious, you should want a little more than to just get your way.
Doing that thing he likes
Doing that ummm…”thing” he likes (you know that thing that’s in the back our minds everytime we see you with an ice cream cone) might just be the best weapon in your arsenal. I’m just kidding…unless you gon’ do it. But seriously, if you can do that “thing” really well, it goes a long way to diffusing an argument dead in its tracks. Now don’t expect to persuade him over to your line of thinking. Like crying, you may get what you want temporarily, but you won’t change his way of thinking. But if I have to choose between the two I’m taking head every time.
A Tall Glass of STFU
My homegirl Miss E calls it the fine art of “stfu.” Basically knowing when to say when. Sometimes an argument is just going around in circles and no one is saying anything, nothing is getting resolved and emotions are flaring. This is a perfect recipe for one of you to say something you will inevitably regret. So instead of saying something you don’t mean – have a seat and drink a tall glass of stfu. Come back to the discussion with a cooler head and really try to understand your significant other’s point of view. Sometimes you just have to be silent.
I’m anti-arguing but if I have to, I’m a pretty fierce debater. I don’t follow the rule about not going to bed angry, though I really should, because I hate waking up with an attitude. But at the end of the day I’m a promoter of creating good communication lines between partners because without it we won’t have much of a relationship. Try looking at an argument as a meeting of the minds. You want to impart some things on him and allow him to impart some knowledge on you and therein lies compromise, which is really the best way to win an argument.
If by chance I missed a few and you’d like to share please email them to nativenotes.
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