When you ask a question like “What do all men want in bed?” you’re basically asking for trouble — or a bunch of NSFW TMI answers that only that man and his woman need to know. But, thankfully, that’s not what we got when we asked our Ask a Black Man LA cohort about their sexual preferences. In fact, the most important thing these men say they get out of sex isn’t an orgasm — though they definitely appreciate those — it’s a feeling of validation and desire that’s only achieved in the bedroom. Listen to what they had to say about seeking validation through sex and more in the video above.