15 Tops That Ruin Big Boobs

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Don’t get me wrong: big boobs are awesome. There’s a reason people are willing to pay off a set of implants in installments for a decade. There’s a reason a little cleavage can get you a long way in skipping the line at a nightclub. But, with that being said, every body type has its issues, and big-boobed women have a hard time finding tops that highlight their headlights, rather than push them down, squeeze them up, knock them to the side, or make their body look all disproportionate. Few designers know how to make a top that makes a woman with big boobs look like just that—a woman with big boobs rather than a woman with four boobs, or with a bigger tummy than she actually has. Big boobs are a precious commodity that deserves to be blessed with the best tops. And, in the meantime, these tops ruin big boobs.

Flickr.com/Peasant blouse

The peasant blouse

The peasant blouse is flowy, which is great to cover up a little bloat or stomach you developed after a vacation. But when you have big boobs, they push the blouse so that it flows several inches in front of your stomach, making you look thicker than you are.

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The loose cropped tee

Loose-cropped tee’s are all the rage right now, but when you have large boobs, the cropped part just sits out in the air, sending an uncomfortable breeze up your top all day and, again, making you look thicker than you are.

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The button down

The buttons on women’s blouses are never well-placed. You’re either stuck leaving the top too unbuttoned, feeling exposed, or too buttoned up, feeling like you’re attending a religious ceremony. And when you have large boobs, you can never close that top button, and it squeezes your boobs.

Pinterest.com/Sweetheart neckline

The sweetheart

Sweetheart tops are made for small-breasted women. With all of the shape and wiring, they’re meant to distract from the fact that there aren’t really boobs there. As for big-breasted women, they offer no support. You end up pulling your top up all night.

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Anything with shoulder pads

You have enough angles on the front of your body—add angles or bulk to the top and your entire upper body looks twice the size that it really is.

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Backless

Inventors try and try, but nobody can come up with a strapless bra that does anything for a woman with large breasts. Backless bras cover up nipples and nothing else.

(TEVOLIO™ Women’s Halter Neck Chiffon Dress , $69.99)

Chiffon anything

Chiffon has zero give whatsoever, meaning it always squeezes and pushes down on large boobs.

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High neck tops

High neck tops are like the sweetheart top—made to distract from small boobs. Don’t do yourself the disfavor of covering up your lovely assets with a high-neck top.

Source: Etsy

Suspender jumpers

Unless you’re doing a hot photoshoot for your honey in which you’re wearing just suspenders over your bare breasts, suspenders are useless to you. When you have large breasts, you end up with this weird space between the straps and your stomach because your breasts just them out.

Amazon.com/Shiny top

Shiny materials

Shiny materials are like mirrors on cars; they make images appear larger than they really are. When you have large boobs, shiny materials make your boobs look like they entered the room a minute before you did.

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Box jackets

Box jackets cause the same problem that shoulder pads do; they add to many angles to your other beautifully angled top-half.

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Horizontal stripes

Horizontal stripes are another thing, like the shiny material, that make your breasts appear way larger than they are. And you’re just fine with them the way they are.

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Cowlneck

Anything with a lot of material bunched at the top will make you look bulky if you have large boobs.

Pinterest.com/bralette top

The bralette top

Bralette tops just aren’t made for large boobs. The little space between each cup is so small that your breasts spill over it, jamming into each other, and you end up in pain.

Source: Corbis

Babydoll tops

Babydoll tops or empire waistlines have a way of making your arms look thick when you have large boobs. Nobody can explain why; it’s one of the mysteries of being a woman.