8 Types Of Friends To Get Rid Of Today
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Life only gets busier with every passing year. The more you pursue, the more comes into your life. It seems like every time you do a great job on one project; you’re offered ten more as a reward. You barely have time to spend with your partner, your family, or yourself! And you get to see your good friends once a month if you are lucky. But those are the people who do deserve your limited free time, and not these. Here are eight types of friends to get rid of.
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Friends who want to commiserate
Have you ever noticed that when you’re around certain friends, you always end up complaining? You leave feeling pretty pessimistic about your life, but you arrived feeling fine about it!
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They steal your gratitude
Some people are just plain miserable, and the only thing that gives them the illusion of happiness is to hear how others are miserable. These people will prod and pry until they get you to complain about your work or your relationship or your apartment–you name it. But it’s easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole of complaining, and you quickly stop seeing all the good in your life! You stop practicing gratitude, and that’s a shame because our happiness directly corresponds to how grateful we are for the things we have.
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Friends who hate men
These friends are usually charming in their way: they make some pretty hilarious jokes at the expense of men. Men-haters can be witty and entertaining, and they’ll help you feel better after you get dumped.
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They seep into your relationships
Even if you consciously know, “Not all men are bad” if you spend a lot of time with someone who bashes them, their comments will seep into your subconscious. You might find yourself looking for reasons to get mad at your partner or the men you date. You might start picking fights for nothing.
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Friends who prioritize partying
Friends who get you to the party are healthy to an extent. You always need people who will remind you that life isn’t all about paying bills. But then there are the friends who think life is not at all about paying bills, or planning for the future. These are the friends who make you feel like you’re a bad friend if you won’t rage on a Friday night because you want to attend a networking event Saturday morning.
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Real friends support your dreams
Real friends don’t just use you for a good time. What makes you happy makes them happy. They couldn’t enjoy bringing you to a party if they knew it was robbing you of a career opportunity. And on the flip side, they ARE happy when you succeed.
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Friends who want you to be single
The perpetually single friend is always a blast, sure. She is usually very social, very funny, and always full of good hookup stories. But sometimes she doesn’t like it when you stop being single. She won’t come along to things you invite her to unless there will be single men there. She encourages you to flirt with men at bars so that she can talk to their friends.
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You are not your single status
If a friend only wants to hang out with you when you are single, then she doesn’t like you for YOU. If she did, then she would be happy to hand out with you anywhere–whether or not there were single men there. She would come to “couply” events to support your relationship.
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Friends who only talk about your mistakes
There is an inherent comfort in these friends. These are the friends who are always telling the “Remember that one-time” stories that end in you screwing up. These friends are always teasing you for your little faults and flaws. It feels like they accept you for who you are–that they don’t mind if you fail.
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They want you to fail
They don’t just not mind if you fail–they want you to fail. They tell these stories to put the idea in your head “You’re just a mess.” Think about it: these same friends probably never tell a story of a time you ROCKED. Ans when you tell them about your victories, they probably give a short, “That’s nice” and change the subject.
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Friends who only call you when they’re upset
You’re honored that you are the person who they consider is kind enough, understanding enough and compassionate enough to call during a tough time. You want to rise to the challenge and prove them correct. You take their phone calls (that last two hours during which you barely get to speak), and you drop your plans to be there for them.
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They’re using you
Think about it: they do not have a bad day every day. So who are they with on those days they don’t call you? Oh yeah–the friends who they think are worthy of their good days. But if you’re a good enough friend to be there when times are tough for somebody, then that person should also call you when times are good! That person should want to provide happy, uplifting energy for you when they can.
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Friends with terrible partners
You might have friends you’ve known since childhood who you can’t up and ditch because they have a jerk for a husband. But if you have some newer friends with partners who aren’t great people, you may want to distance yourself.
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You can’t compartmentalize
If your friend has a partner who is mean, condescending or even emotionally abusive, you’re going to end up around that energy. You can’t just see your friend and not her husband. What’s worse is that you’ll drag YOUR partner into the situation because they will want to double date. It’s very sad for your friend that she chose a mean partner, but she is old enough to make her own mistakes–you can’t tell her to leave him, and you also don’t need to subject yourself to that dynamic.
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Friends who pick at your relationship
For a number of reasons a friend might subtly pick at your relationship. She might seem to interrogate you–waiting for you to say something bad about your relationship so she can pounce on it. She might wish you were still single to be her wing man, she might just be jealous of you, and she might be a negative person.
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Image Source: Shutterstock
You want supporters
Friends who pick at your relationship are no friends at all. If you’re happy they should be happy for you. They should be there to listen should you need to vent about your relationship sometimes, but they shouldn’t try to stir up problems that aren’t there.
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