Birds of a feather flock together and some men are bad just by association with particular locations. A book shouldn’t be judged entirely by its cover, but a few things should be taken into consideration. Men are drawn to different places for different reasons and most people are not the exception.
So, if you’re in the market for a good guy, cut your losses (as much as possible) and avoid looking for love in these places:
Abortion clinics
Unless he’s wearing scrubs, turn the other cheek. Aside from work, there are only two reasons for a man to be at an abortion clinic. Ask yourself if any man of substance would try to approach you while his child is being aborted. And, if for some reason he was supporting a family member, trying to pick up women at such an emotional time is in very poor taste. Next.
MySpace and/or Black Planet
Online dating is still suspect. Men use Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms and websites as their virtual playgrounds. MySpace and Black Planet are among the worst. All you have to do is scroll through a few profile pages to see they’re a mess. And, at the end of the day, there is still just too much anonymity in cyberspace. It’s much easier to lie behind a computer than face-to-face.
Gambling centers
It’s not the actual gambling that’s the problem, it’s the unsavory characters the environment draws—gangsters, thieves, con-artists, etc. The casino business is shady and dirty money is welcomed. You don’t want to meet what you thought was a nice guy and inadvertently end up affiliated with organized crime.
Public transportation
If you happen to come up on a gem, good for you; but, city buses are typically full of men without cars. A working man over 25 without personal transportation is questionable. What is he doing with his money? Does he even have any? You’re looking for a mate not a mooch.
Hotel bars and conventions
Many of the men lurking around hotel bars and attending conventions are on business trips…and married. They are interested in sex with the possibility of starting a long-distance affair. You deserve more than to be someone’s side piece.
Clubs
Men don’t go to clubs looking for love so neither should you. It’s a hypersexual, alcohol-induced environment that doesn’t lend itself to making good decisions. If you happen to meet what seems like a nice guy at the club, wait a few days to contact him. You know, when the club-rodisiacs wear off.
AA meetings
Everyone has problems but addiction is not something you want to take on, especially in the early stages. It requires a lot of emotional support and you could find yourself getting too serious way too soon. The same applies to those in therapy for depression and other mental issues.
LaShaun Williams is a culture and relationship columnist, blogger and social critic. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio and AOL Black Voices. She has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. Williams is also the voice behind Politically Unapologetic, where she unabashedly discusses pop culture, relationships and everything in between. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook.
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