The Trouble With Being A Super Social Couple - Page 13

My boyfriend and I are both very social. We love meeting new people, getting to know people, and being around people! Put us in a new setting where we’ve never met anybody, and we flourish. We both have new phone numbers and plans to go hiking/see a movie in the park by the end of the night. It’s great because we don’t need to babysit one another in social settings. But it can also be problematic. Here are some of the problems with being a super social couple.

People expect you to show up

You set a precedent when you’re a social couple! The more you show up, the more people expect you to show up, and the more upset they get when you don’t. It must be nice to be one of those homebody couples who gets a parade when they come out once a year.

You’re always invited to something

There is never a night when we are not invited to something. If we are staying in, it comes with guilt (or anxiety?) over the fact that somewhere, something is going on that we could have been at, but we’re not. We have to resist socializing—we never have to look for it.

You argue over which event to attend

We’re usually facing several invites per day! If just one of us were social, that person would probably dictate what the couple would do, and the shy person would be fine with that—she/he had no prospects anyways. But we both have invites and opinions about where we want to go!

You “stop by” five events

And how does the argument end? We try to make everybody happy, by making a 30-minute appearance at several things. But, it never is just 30 minutes. Plus there is the time driving around and parking. Our nights can get hectic and it’s hard to just enjoy one place or activity.

You cross-schedule

He says yes to something on the 20^th, but I say yes to another thing. We’ve both RSVPd for the both of us. It happens all of the time, and we have to let somebody down.

Your phones are always going off

It’s hard enough to leave your phones alone when nobody is even calling/texting you. Try ignoring them when they’re constantly beeping/lighting up/vibrating.

Your social media is always going off

The Facebook event invites are endless. We have to put our computers next to each other and compare and evaluate iMaps and start times and guest lists.

People think they can stop by

Since we are very social, people think they can just join in on our date night. People forget that we sometimes have date night—like for two people—and just because we’re going to a restaurant, doesn’t mean we’re open for socializing.

You are extra reachable

If somebody can’t get a hold of my boyfriend to invite us to something, no problem—they just call me and say, “I can’t get a hold of your boyfriend so I’m calling you.”

You can’t get alone time

Between all of the things we are constantly running around to—either together or separately—it can be very tough to get alone time. And meeting up at 11:30 pm for a half hour of catching up before bed doesn’t count.

You experience parties separately

We are social butterflies—each of us. Put us in a party at 8pm and we will barely cross paths again until 11pm. One person wants me to do shots in the kitchen; one person wants him to check out some video on the patio. We spend the party separately.

There’s no time for sex

We get home from a party at 1:30 am and are finally ready for bed by 2:30 am. But we need to be up by 10 am if we’re going to realistically make that barbecue tomorrow. And we could both use extra sleep. Sex has to wait.

You spend too much on socializing

Socializing is expensive! If we go to bars or restaurants, there’s money on drinks/food/cabs. If we go to someone’s place, we bring a hostess gift. We spend all our fun money on other people’s activities and have none left for a couple’s getaway.

You have to share friends

Like I said, we are both very friendly and social. His friends are my friends and visa versa. If I want to hang out with friend A, it’s weird if I don’t confirm that my man is also available for the hangout. Otherwise, it seems I left him out.