How A Vacation With Your Boyfriend Teaches You A Lot

Some say you don’t know if you can marry someone until you’ve lived with them. Others say you don’t really know someone until you’ve been together for X amount of years. I say you can tell a lot about whether or not you can spend your life with your boyfriend based on how things go when you take a vacation together. Here’s how.

Can you two spend some time apart?

You go on vacation to spend time together, but even within that brief trip, you’ll need some time on your own. But can you get it? If your partner wants to read by the pool and you want to go on an adventure, does he tell you to do your own thing? Or does he give you a hard time?

You need alone time

If your partner throws a fit because you want to be alone for an hour or so, what is he going to do when, on a lazy Sunday together, you want to go out and do your own thing? In a relationship, it’s obviously important to do fun things together, but it’s also important to be able to fly solo without getting a guilt trip.

How does he feel about the hotel room?

To him, is it just a place to toss your clothes while you run around and do things? Or, is he particularly picky about where you all stay? Does he call the front desk four times until firmer pillows are delivered? Does he ask for a discount because there is a stain on the carpet?

That could be how he feels about your home

If your partner can’t even get over a tiny stain on the carpet when he is on vacation, how is he going to react when you stain your home carpet? Does he overreact about the smallest things?

When you’re getting ready…

It’s vacation! So you probably have special vacation outfits you’ve prepared, and you probably even brought along that fancy hair product you never have the time to use at home. When you’re happily playing music and crimping your hair, admittedly holding up your dinner plans, does he playfully laugh and wait? Or does he throw a fit, call you selfish, and say you’re wasting time?

That’s a sneak peek at date night

Your partner should know that if you’re both going to be happy, you both need to be allowed to do the things that make you happy separately. If that means enjoying 15 minutes with a curling iron, jamming to Pandora, your partner should be glad that you get to do that. He shouldn’t think you’re ruining his night.

When something expensive comes up…

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity comes up during the trip. Maybe a nighttime tour of an incredible exhibit, or dinner at a celebrity chef’s table. Does your partner groan at what a waste of money that is? Or does he say, “When else will we get to do this?” and just go for it?

Life is full of unexpected opportunities

If your partner flies across the country, but won’t shell out an extra few dollars for a very special experience (this is presuming he can afford it), you may be looking at a dull life together. Anytime something special comes up, he’ll fixate on the fact that the price is unfair, rather than thinking, “This experience with my partner is priceless.”

How does he deal with other travelers?

Your neighbors in the hotel are playing music a little too loud. The couple on the train sitting next to you is chatting too much. Does he take joy in the fact that they’re, well, enjoying themselves? Or does he kindly ask them to turn it down?

That’s how he’ll treat your neighbors

Do you want to live with a man who will yell at your neighbors for leaving their trash in the hallway for a few hours? Or do you want to be with the man who realizes he will make things really awkward by doing something like that?

How does he treat staff?

Housekeeping knocks on your door at 9 a.m. You were sleeping. Does your partner A) Open the door and ask that they come back later or B) Open the door and say something like, “Don’t you realize people are sleeping around here?!” refusing to leave a small tip for them when you leave?

You may have staff one day

From babysitters to housecleaning services, you might have staff to tend to in your home one day. You want a partner who is compassionate enough to realize that, sure, the housekeeper woke him from his slumber, but she probably woke up hours ago to take a bus across town to be at your beck and call. He should show some kindness.

What about your packing job?

Did you bring the essentials? Or did you bring three dresses for each night, because you didn’t know what you’d feel like wearing? If you did the latter, did your partner lovingly tease you for it or scold you instead?

How does he leave the room?

You’re on vacation, and part of the fun of that is not cleaning up too much. But does your partner leave condom rappers, sticky candy bar wrappers and dirty tissues all over the floor and say, “Housekeeping will get to it?” Or does he clean up the unmentionables?

Say hello to your home

If your partner has so little regard for the housekeepers at a hotel, he won’t have much more regard for you when you live together. He might toss his dirty dishes with yours when you’re trying to clean, thinking “You’re already doing dishes…”