Sex Signals Men Get Wrong

If it’s not dirty talk, any conversation during sex can be a mood killer. That can make it pretty tough to ask questions and get clarification if you’re confused about what your partner wants. You’re stuck interpreting signals. But, like outside of the bedroom, you can misread your partner’s signs inside the bedroom. Here are eight sex signals men misread a lot.

Do louder noises mean finish up?

Your partner is starting to breathe heavier and heavier, and moan louder and louder. You assume this is your time to wrap things up. She must be mid-orgasm.

Silence means finish up

Actually, when a woman finishes climaxing, she also finishes making those noises. If her sounds are still getting louder and louder, that means she is almost there. If you finish up too soon, you’ll give her metaphorical blue balls.

Starting on top means we want to do all the work

Your partner seems to want to take the reigns tonight. She crawled on top of you. She is doing all of the work and seems to be enjoying herself. So you let her keep up all the work.

You can’t just lie there

Don’t make the mistake of just lying there, arms out to the side, letting her bounce around. This doesn’t make her feel like you’re that into it. Or worse, it makes her feel like she has to do everything. Grab her butt. Hold her by the waist and move her. In a sexy way, push her torso back a little to get a better angle.

A groan means repeat, repeat, repeat

If you touch a certain area and your partner lets out a different kind of moan (or a grunt), you probably think, “I found the right button. I should push it over and over again.”

Repeating can mean irritation

The art of touch is finding that sweet spot, touching it, moving to other areas, and circling back to that sweet spot every so often—just when she misses your touch there. Touching it over and over again can leave that area irritated.

A quickie means no foreplay

Your partner pushes you into the coat closet at a party and starts ripping your clothes off, saying she wants a quickie. She is just kissing you, and she isn’t doing anything downstairs for you, so you assume that you should skip the foreplay.

Who doesn’t want foreplay? 

Your partner needs foreplay. Honestly, the only thing that makes a quickie, well, quick is that she’s going to skip giving you oral and other time-consuming tasks. But if you don’t warm her up even just a little, sex won’t be pleasurable for her.

“Want to get behind me?”

Your partner asks if you want to get behind her. This is exciting. This could mean so many things. Unfortunately, you’re probably wrong about a lot of those things.

Have some etiquette

The worst mistake you can make is assuming that just because she wants you behind her, that it’s an open invitation to anal sex. Never, ever go for the ass without asking first. Other mistakes you can make include pushing her onto her knees. We like plenty of other positions besides doggystyle when you’re behind us. Get creative.

Getting on our side

You’re in missionary, and she starts to roll over onto her side. You help her complete this transaction by pushing her onto her stomach.

If that was what she wanted…

If a woman wishes to be on her stomach, she’ll get on her stomach. But there are a lot of great angles and things you can do when you’re both on your side. Stay there for a while.

Laughing from tickles

Laughter and smiling and squirming must always be a good thing, right? And a little tickling is seductive, isn’t it?

NO, NO, NO

Tickling is the devil’s work. It looks like the person being tickled is enjoying themselves and makes it impossible for them to get a word out of their laughter to say, “I hate this!” But a woman cannot be aroused when she is laughing. Those are two contradictory bodily functions. Stop with the tickling during sex.

No means no

Seriously, if we say we don’t want something in bed, we don’t want it. This is not a time where we are trying to play hard to get. Sit down somewhere.