Dating definitely seems a little harder these days than it was a few years ago, especially if you’ve already had kids. There are tons of good men — and women — out there but the trick is finding one, apparently. In order to keep yourself from getting caught up with the wrong one and wasting unnecessary time, make it a priority to keep an eye out for a few signs. They’re actually pretty obvious if you’re being alert. But in case you need a little help, here are 15 red flags you ought to look out for.
You Know You’re In A Scandalous Relationship: 15 Dating Red Flags
Doesn’t Stay Over or Let You Stay the Night
So you two have been rocking for a few months but you’ve never seen the inside of your boo’s house at night. Or at all. Whether or not you’re ready to get intimate or just kick it and watch movies until you fall asleep, it’s a major issue that needs a closer look. Is he married? Does he have a room full of porcelain dolls? What exactly is the reason you’re always given an excuse when a sleepover is mentioned? Even when he’s at your place, he has to rush home before the night is over. Why? Find out, or better yet just hit the road.
Always Demanding And Never Giving
Some of these adults out here are like kids. They can be so selfish and needy. You guys just met each other, yet your new beau is always demanding that you go out of your way to do something for him/her. Meanwhile, you can’t even count on one hand the amount of times they’ve done even the smallest thing for you. Get out of this one — quick!
Disappears for Days At a Time
If you’re reading this, it’s safe to assume that your high school years are long gone — that was the last time you needed to see or speak to your significant other every day, several times a day. We’re all grown and although you may not be interested in talking on the phone for hours with this significant other, still, he/she can’t just drop off the face of the Earth for a week and pop back in your life like nothing happened. They might have another family stashed somewhere. Don’t ignore the signs.
Has a Nasty Temper
You two were having a great afternoon, then you said something that evidently triggered something in your honey. Now, instead of calmly discussing what that trigger was, you’re standing two feet from him in some botanical gardens getting yelled at. Later in the evening, he hits you with the ‘I’m sorry’ text. Leave this one alone — for the sake of your nerves and his.
Has a ‘Complicated’ Relationship With the Ex
Watch out for this guy with the ‘complicated’ relationship. It’s something that’s said in a round-about way. When you met, he mentioned that he was dating but not that he was actually dating any particular person. But eventually, you’ll sniff the ex out and by that point he won’t bother hiding their on-again, off-again relationship. Instead, he may allude to wanting you to stick around as the side chick. And you don’t want that, do you? Make haste getting away from this one.
‘Knows’ You Through Social Media Before Meeting You
You ever meet someone that “knew” you through Twitter and all they’re speaking about in that first interaction is what’s on your timeline? It’s the craziest thing — but you actually might overlook it if this person has all the ‘other’ qualities. Fine. Don’t be surprised though if they hit your phone a few weeks from your introduction to ask who ‘that guy’ was that put a smiley face under your Instagram post.
Is Never Available When You’re In Need
One of the best things about having a beau is the fact that you already have someone to call on if you’re having a bad day or if you just want to vent. Or if you need their assistance on something they specialize in. What sucks is when that person’s never there. You’re essentially in a relationship by yourself and the other person is either crazy selfish or too busy to even check in to see if you’re okay. Either way, lose this one. They’re no good for you.
Controlling
If you’re dating someone that has issues with control, you’ll find out sooner than later. That’s for sure. The first time he/she tells you to call or ‘stay by the phone’ and you don’t do it, the reaction is bound to be an interesting one.
Can Only Spend Moments At a Time
People can be so sneaky and conniving. Instead of being honest and just living life without the fear of being found out, your new sweetie is carving out specific times — that only he’s aware of — he’s allotted a few moments once every few days to spend with you. It isn’t until you ask for attention outside of those set hours, and he “can’t do it today, babe,” when it begins to click. He’s not telling the entire truth.
Never Admits to Being Wrong, Ever
This person jokes your sincere concerns off and slights your efforts to get him to understand where he’s wrong in certain disagreements. In fact, this guy is so bold that he’ll turn everything around on you when he gets ready. “I know I was messing with another woman while telling you that you ought to be committed to what we’re trying to build. Still, you’re a smart girl. I figured you’d put it together on your own.”
Has No Interest In Your Kids
The minute you saw your kids in the delivery room, they became your new reason for living. Nothing and no one on earth would take precedent over them. Maybe it didn’t work out with their dad but whoever you’re with should recognize that love and at least show an interest in your babies. At least ask how they’re doing. If they totally ignore the fact that you have kids, get rid of ’em.
Has No Interest In How Your Day Went
Today was a rough one and you smile when you look down at your ringing phone and it’s the new boo. Ready to share the gory details of your day, you answer immediately but he/she launches into their own conversation, barely giving you a chance to talk. Then they rush to get off until the next time they call you — to talk about themselves and hang up after a few moments. Red. Flag.
Won’t Stop Lamenting Over the Ex
At least you know this one isn’t messing around with his ex because he’s always with you. The problem is that every time you guys talk he brings the ex up. Every time you go out, he sees something that reminds him of the ex and he’s just got to tell you about it. You ought to leave this one where you found him, that way it’ll be easier for the ex to scoop him up from where she left him.
You’ve Already Uncovered Several Lies — It’s Been a Week
From what he does for a living to where he went to school — this guy’s a liar and not even a very good one at that. He’ll lie about the sky being blue if he has a minute to chat. The moment you figure it out, confront him and see what he says. But for the most part, he’s not changing, he’s grown.
Always Knows Just What To Say To Keep You From Realizing ‘This’ Is a Bad Situation
Every time your honey works your nerve with something else, you’re ready to present your argument and throw in the towel. Here’s the thing though, some are master manipulators. So although they may know they’re not doing right, rather then have you leave, they may try and convince you — by way of the tidbits you’ve shared — that they know you or they’re falling in love with you and ‘you don’t really want to end it.’ Trust and believe, you do.
