Dad Victor Freeman on a trip to Disney with his son and daughter
Not all men are afraid of being a Dad. We know one who embraced the role…after a few lessons.
As told by Victor D. Freeman
Fatherhood has been everything I envisioned it to be and more. I’ve surprisingly enjoyed my walk as a father due to the joy my children bring me, but most of all and my willingness to embrace my role.
Surprised? You bet, because I was scared to death of the responsibility prior to my son arriving. I was 26, not where I wanted to be professionally, and I had little money stored away. Most importantly, I didn’t have a paradigm to follow. I, like so many African American men, grew up without a father (my father passed away due to untimely death when I was two-years-old) and I definitely didn’t want to emulate many of the men that I encountered growing up.
So, there was my starting point in terms of framing what I didn’t want to be as a caregiver.
In a strange way, the absence of a father in my childhood provided structure for me. I knew I wanted to have a presence, be loving, and involved. These were the actions that I longed for from a father and I felt that my children would want the same.
I found out pretty early that fatherhood was going to come natural to me, I still remember the joy I had holding my son month’s after he was born and hearing him coo and giggle for the first time. I thought: “What an infectious laugh!” …and I was hooked. The moment felt more significant than when I first held him as a newborn because I was still in shock that I was a Dad! His laughing moment told me that I loved him MORE that day than the day that he was born. My love for him was growing.
When my daughter arrived two years later, I was the savior in the household for my wife and I because my daughter did not sleep through the night. My wife and I discovered through many tireless nights that she would fall asleep faster if she lay on my chest. I think the calmness and the steady beating of my heart enabled her to sleep. Prior to having my daughter, I never could fall asleep on my back…but that experience changed that. She and I would fall asleep like two babies. My connection with my daughter was instant and it made me realize even more how vital I was in her life with just my presence.
Fast forward 11 years later and I’m blessed to have two healthy children– now 11 and 9–and they keep me busy. My son is all-boy, which I love. He’s an above average athlete and loves playing football, basketball, and track. And he’s also a B+ student–even though my wife and I have to stay behind him with a knee in his back to maintain those grades. My daughter is a combination of tomboy/girly girl. She’s the more responsible of the two, maintains excellent grades, and likes playing sports and is heavily involved in volunteer work and the Girl Scouts.
Through it all, I’ve enjoyed the first time I’ve heard my children call me Dad, the first time I saw them walk, the way their faces light up when I walk through the door because they miss their Dad. I’ve enjoyed the family trips, and the not so “classical” musical and dance recitals, the football games, and cheer-leading performances, the trips to Chuck E. Cheese and McDonald’s, and the birthday parties that make you want to pull your hair out of your head. My children know that I will always be there for them because I love them.
I’ve been there every step of the way…as their coach, their cheerleader, their confidant, their counselor, their role model…and of course…as their Dad.
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads!!
